7 Minutes in Heaven
by EdyFerrone
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian are chosen during 7 Minutes in Heaven at Rachel's party and they end up having drunk sex. They both want to forget about it, but they can't resist each other, so they make a deal and decide to become friends with benefits. (written with ManuKaikan for a GKM prompt based on the theme Infidelity)
1. Prologue

_**Hadn't posted this yet here :) me and my dear ManuKaikan had been writing this to fill this prompt at GKM. We planned it as a 3-4 chapters long fic but it came out quite longer than that. Forgive us mistakes, we're from Narnia, so English is not out first language! Hope this doesn't suck!**_

_**Ps: main prompt was Infidelity, so if that does bother you, this is not the right fic for you!**_

Sometimes, something totally unexpected happens, something you'd have never guess. You get to behave in such a different away, far beyond anything your personality has always been like, something you can't even believe it's happening.

Destiny has quite a good time in proving you wrong.

Sometimes you use to think about your strict morality, about your feelings; you're sure that you'll never let people down, the ones you feel something for especially. And these 'sometimes' use to disappear completely when you lose self-control and you can't even get your good intentions to stop your brand new instincts.

And it doesn't matter what you might do about it, which decision might be the right one to be taken, how much a matter of fact might look absurd and consequently unbearable.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try to make reason win above impulses and you can even decide you want to forget that one-night-only, because everything just feels _so wrong_.

Despite that decision, you will still be there, wrapped in those sheets and arms, unable to fight that insatiable desire of having that person even though he is so inappropriate if compared to every single thing you might ever be.

But when something suddenly happens, when it comes out from nothing – a party, alcohol, a closet -, you can't help but let go.

xxx

Hands were wandering, breaths were blending, and moans had started to fill the walls of that closet with sounds, in contrast with the loud laughs coming from the outside, beyond the closed door.

"Seven minutes are gone!" An unknown voice shouted and they couldn't even recognize it.

Kurt wasn't exactly paying attention to _voices_. He was too busy thinking about those lips and he wondered if it wasn't only because he barely knew whose lips he was actually kissing. He didn't even _want_ to know it because just to realize that he was pressing his own mouth hard against the other boy's made him feel bad.

It wasn't about the thing itself, because it was 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' and it was just a game. The problem was that seven minutes were gone and they were breaking the rules.

And Kurt had no idea why or how.

He felt something brushing the skin of his neck, lips and a hot wet skilled tongue, and he couldn't help but moan out loud. Somebody knocked noisy against the door and it made them wince, while a voice was still calling for their attention.

"Time's over! Would you guys come out? We'd like to play the game too, if you don't mind!"

Kurt wasn't sober enough to understand whose voice was that (because there was no way he could distinguish a voice while not being able to recognize the boy kissing him). But he didn't even care. He tried to focus on the door, but those lips had only taken a brief break because of that call and they were already torturing back his pale skin, making it impossible for Kurt to think (not that his brain could in that very moment.)

Seven minutes.

He had thought that seven minutes was too much to spend in the same room with him.

Seven minutes.

It wasn't enough, it wasn't _nearly_ enough.

He turned fast, looking away from the door, and allowed himself to speak, low voice, and breathe against his ear.

"Upstairs," he whispered confusedly, needy, hot, unsatisfied, "take me upstairs."

It didn't take too much to get a reaction to that lustful, whispered order: after he had felt teeth clapping around his neck, a warm hand held his own, fingers interlacing, and began to carry him out of that tiny little space.

Kurt heard the thud sound of the door slamming behind their backs (but it almost sounded like a nuclear explosion spreading over to fill his whole cranium), but he couldn't decode the voices behind them, while they were running upon the stairs.

He had no idea how they'd been able to get to the top because everything was just so confused and Kurt was sure he was banking around.

He wasn't used to alcohol and he could almost sense and distinguish each and every single drop of sweet bitter liquid running through his nerves and veins. He almost stumbled to the last step and he didn't even realize which part of the other boy's body he had to grab to avoid falling down.

A few seconds and he had his back against a cold door, warm and good smelling lips upon his own.

"Mmmh …" Kurt heard him murmur while his own lips were brushing through not-so-dark hair and he was uselessly trying to bring him closer. He couldn't help but moan when he felt teeth catching around his lower lip, pulling and sucking greedy.

It was _too much_. Every single touch, breath, sound, just _too much_, it confused him (later on, he would have been asking if it was because of the alcohol – quite a good amplifier of sense – or maybe because of the situation, the _person_) and he couldn't help but pushing his waist forward, not even noticing if the contact did actually happen or it was only a brush. He wasn't sure there could be a difference for him in that very moment. He felt those hands, those lips, it was simply as being brought back to life and falling again, something similar to a bare immaterial anchor.

And then kisses and bites and breaths, confusing, blending, mixing.

He suddenly felt the door behind his back missing and the boy upon him holding his cheekbone to push him through the dark room.

His neck was suddenly hit again and two firm hands grabbed his ass, pinning him close to make him feel the hardness, to make him feel that he was so turned on.

They moved across the room, trying not to lose the balance, and when Kurt felt his knees against the mattress, he fell back.

His ass sank down into the bed, but Kurt didn't lay down and leant upon his hands, despite his shaking arms. He blinked several times, trying to focus, but he couldn't do nothing but dangling confused and also partially absorbed into that pleasure.

Despite his clouded mind, he could perfectly feel smart and wise hands sliding upon the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning slowly, one after another, to make the soft fabric brush his shoulders.

The boy undressing him didn't even pull it down completely, he just made the tip of his lip slide across his chest while biting.

It was such an amazing feeling because Kurt was sure – not-so-sure, maybe – that nobody had ever brushed him like that, kissed him like that.

He wasn't even sure he could compare the things (since he had tried one of the two) but he thought it was almost like getting addicted. _It had to be addictive_, it didn't look like there was any chance to run away, and Kurt was even over-thinking uselessly.

Touching got wiser, that boy driving him crazy pushed him back upon the bed and Kurt's hand grabbed his smooth hair. He felt that mouth running through his chest, slipping down while skillful fast hands were undoing his belt.

Kurt bit his lower lip to keep a moan, thinking that it was too much of a thing to feel that hot only because he was touching his still half-covered body.

But he couldn't help it. Unable to keep control, he pushed his own hips towards that amusing hand, feeling warmth run and spread through his body. He used that grip to pull him closer and catch his lips again, in a hungry kiss.

He had never felt like that before. He was usually so … in control.

The silence of the room got filled by the tinkling of the zip of Kurt's pants going down, one hand moved towards there, brushing his never-been-that-hard-before hardness. He swallowed loudly while that mouth bit his neck and that warm panting breath made him shiver.

He moaned, not even realizing they were in an unknown room at Rachel's, because he just didn't care. He moved his waist, brushing against his wise hand, so needy because he wasn't used to that over-excitement.

All he wanted was to be completely satisfied.

"Take 'em off." That voice murmured, "Can't wait, I want you."

Kurt shivered again at those words, but he decided that he could, indeed, he _had to_ obey.

He helped him taking his own pants off, letting them reach for the floor tangling up, feeling nails scratching his thighs, while the other boy was kneeling between his legs.

"Oh God …" he murmured.

Kurt used his hands to keep balance, even though his arms were shaking quite enough to be doubtfully useful, and stared at the ceiling. He felt no other comment would have fit the case, he couldn't remember somebody touching him like that before and he didn't even now it was really happening.

He moved forward again, almost begging silently because, despite the alcohol, he was more than able to distinguish his own painful erection.

His thighs felt a breeze when the boxers went down to his ankles, while that mouth – it still hadn't touched him right where he wanted it to – kept on moving on his soft pale skin between his thighs, going up slowly.

Kurt shivered with anticipation feeling that tongue brushing so close to his hardness, leaving a small kiss.

"Please …" he cried out desperately, "I'm begging, _please_."

But his request didn't get satisfied yet. And Kurt wasn't sure he could stand that sadism while being so hot he could have fired up, because every touch, every contact had stopped being _quite-too-good_ to turn into _not-nearly-enough_. He pushed his body forward again, or at least, so it seemed to him because he wasn't even sure he had done that.

"Please …" he whispered again, feeling temperature rising, while his eyes were getting wet because of the suffering caused by the missing satisfaction.

He let out an intense moan when the other boy's lips finally touched his hardness, holding it inside that warm reassuring mouth.

"_Fuck, yes_" he let out of his mouth and, when he felt the back of that unknown deep throat, almost touching it with the head of his cock, he held his hair tighter.

He raised upon his arms only to look at that head going up and down, sucking him lustful, softly brushing with his teeth and, for a moment, Kurt though he might have been even harder than before.

Who was he?

He didn't know that mouth, _maybe_. He didn't even recognize the hair he was pulling and actually he didn't care because that mouth was driving him _so_ crazy.

"You taste so good, better than anything I've ever tried." He heard him murmuring.

His voice was so low and deep, it made him shiver and shake from his back straight to his balls, in anticipation.

"Harder …" he moaned, "Suck harder."

The boy went faster, stricter, organized movements. Kurt held the sheet between his fingers, moving his hips towards that amazing face, fucking that mouth unkindly.

"I'm close …" he announced and let his eyes wide open when the boy pulled his head back, "No!" he screamed, pushing it down, "Swallow … please …" but he didn't wait for an answer, he pushed his hips towards him, sinking his cock inside that paradisiacal mouth again.

He had no idea about when he had learnt to lose control, but he knew it was spontaneous and, anyway, he couldn't stand a chance to think about it in that very moment. Any thought of his owns had been washed away by that sense of warmth caused by the cum running to the inside of his mouth.

His first instinct was to close his eyes and raising his chin, holding his fingers tight through the boy's hair, almost like he thought it might have helped him not to fall. He breathed hard, trying to recover his mind.

He had never tried anything so intense, devastating. He had no idea _how to_ recover because he had noticed he was still moaning in frustration even while being satisfied.

But he had no time to wonder about it. His mouth was closed by the other's, the one that had been on his cock just a few seconds before, making him taste his own cum and Kurt couldn't help but pushing him closer, biting his lips rough.

He laid back on the bed, the boy's body on his own and hands wandering on his almost naked skin. The shirt was still wrapped around his shoulders, but it disappeared before he could think about it.

"Still too covered." Kurt ordered and it was getting so hard to breathe.

"Help me." The other boy answered.

Kurt saw him kneeling in front of him in the dark room, showing him his pants, ready to be undressed up.

He grabbed his shirt, raising it slowly, because of his unstable mental status and throwing it away, maybe, upon the pavement (he wasn't sure) before he could lean on to suck his lower lip. A choked breath came out against that mouth, another, then Kurt's hands went down.

It took him more that I had expected to reach for the zip of the other boy's pants.

His fingers shook in hesitation before they could grab the material and pull it down. He moved forward and brushed fast at that throbbing, but it lasted only a few seconds because he was already undressing him of his pants.

He felt that warm skin brushing on his own, making their hips almost blend and their hard dicks touch – well, it looked like the boy wasn't used to underwear – and it forced him to another moan.

He had just come but he was already feeling hard and throbbing again, crying out to get touched. The body upon his own started to move slowly, flipping his hips regularly while his mouth conceded kisses upon Kurt's chest.

He wasn't sure about if it was the alcohol making anything so unreal, but the situation didn't seem that possible. It had something terribly unrealistic, and not only because everything was getting more and more shadowed.

He moaned again, but it wasn't pleasure.

It was frenetic, he needed it, they were wasting too much time and he couldn't stand it, not while feeling that way. He pushed his hips to him, moans in background again, because he wasn't able to ask for it out loud.

He didn't even know how it happened, he had his legs up upon thin but burly shoulders. He heard a paper scratching and fresh air between their bodies.

"What are-" His breath stopped through his throat and he needed to search for air, when he felt the other boy's hardness burning inside with sudden strength.

He grabbed the sheets, almost like he could take the pain (or pleasure) he was feeling out only by tightening his fingers around something. He bent his back, closing his eyes, trying to breath. He felt so sensible and he was already starting to forget when anything started.

But moves where slow and hesitating and it wasn't enough, not like that.

"_Pleasepleaseplease …"_ he started to murmur with no control, searching for that satisfaction he needed again.

And, luckily, the _maybe-_unknown boy followed his order.

Kurt felt fingers grabbing his ankles and the mattress trembling under his body while the boy was searching for the right position. That gave Kurt the time to catch his own breath, feeling pain washed away for a second.

It lasted _exactly _that second though because he went on moving, slow but deep movements, opening Kurt like no one had ever done before.

He felt weird because he wasn't used to feel that needy and so freaking satisfied. He moaned more and more to each and every movement – he couldn't notice that tough – feeling his own hole getting _so_ open. He would have wanted to cry out in pleasure but some rare far vain reminiscence about who the person he was been fucked by was told him he couldn't.

"Fuck, you're so tight," the other boy moaned, "I've never tried anything so tight."

Their sweaty bodies pushing one another made such a pleasant sound blended to the noise produced by the mattress springs, making everything so erotic.

"Harder …" Kurt begged and the boy obeyed, breaths getting to the maximum level of breathlessness. Whatever was happening, whoever he was – somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew who he was – was the best thing ever.

His body lost the temperature control completely and he warmed up familiarly, letting degrees go down only by sweat drops, while feeling the orgasm starting to burn inside to get his way through his body.

"Mmmh …" The boy murmured again, grabbing his hips tight, leaving marks upon his pale skin.

The rhythm got more and more frenetic, anything went so tougher and Kurt felt him going deeper and deeper. He couldn't keep the spasm shaking his legs and he came on his own abdomen, one sharp squirt.

He could recognize the other boy's eyes following the way down and the movements slowed down immediately.

"W-what are you doing?" Kurt asked lifting his back from the mattress, just a little.

"Comin' on you." He answered simply, low voice.

The only answer Kurt was able to produce was a grumpy cry because … how the hell was he suppose to answer something like that? It wasn't exactly that type of situation he was used to be in and not even alcohol could stop him from realizing that.

But that suggested perspective tempted him and he couldn't even complain the dissatisfaction cause by that sudden slow-down.

Kurt felt him giving another deep push, surrounded by darkness, still holding his hips almost as he was trying to keep himself from coming into the condom, and then he slept away, making Kurt snap because of that sense of emptiness.

He watched him throwing the condom upon the pavement and then fisting his own cock.

And Kurt couldn't help but stare, despite the darkness, watching him jerking off, with an interest Kurt had never thought possible.

He let his legs slip across the mattress to get closer and he started brushing his balls with a firm but still a little shaky hand, probably because of artificial reasons.

The other boy's hand leant upon his shoulder while his body was shaking too and his fingers held Kurt's pale skin tight, enough to leave a mark.

And Kurt heard him gasp while his arm was moving faster and faster.

"Kurt …" he called him out loud.

And Kurt tried not to think about it.

He tried not to think about the way that voice made his mind tremble in order to remember something he wasn't sure he wanted to remember.

He focused on brushing him better when he realized – who knows how – that the other boy was now too close.

"It's just-" he growled then, his hand pumping faster, "Your mouth, I want your mouth." He almost begged with his voice, grabbing Kurt's head – Kurt was somehow confused by that movement -, trying to lead it to his own needy cock.

Kurt flexed his back forward.

He would have preferred to hear him begging a little about it, but he was too excited too and he didn't allow his ego to gain that tempting prize. He slipped again upon the bed and stood on his elbows before he could get his lips close to the other boy's hardness, a little wet and shiny in pre-cum.

He ran along it with the tip of his tongue, almost tasting his skin, but the other boy's twitches made clear that he couldn't waste any time, so he just took it into his mouth.

Kurt had realized how frustrated he was for being so close, so he decided to satisfy that need. He sucked at his cock greedy, while he was brushing at his balls with gentle touches and sensuous scratches.

And then, he shivered when the other boy's fingers stopped his head, pulling off of it.

"Lay down." He ordered.

Kurt didn't wait for him to repeat the order and he gave up upon his hands, back on his elbows and laying down almost completely.

His look wandered around the room for a second and he felt particularly confused because his mind realized again that it wasn't his room.

It was a quick thought though because his gaze was caught by the hardness between the other boy's legs since it was surrounded by his long fingers again with no gentle touch.

Kurt heard a loud moan and the – probably caused-by-alcohol - grunt coming out from his chest, before his legs tensed and the other boy leant on, driving his body through the orgasm.

Kurt looked down at his own chest, covered by his warm cum and realized he also had drops of pleasure running through his face. The other boy couldn't help but letting his tongue out to taste it because it was too tempting to let it go.

"Fuck …" he whispered, his hand still pumping but slow and gentle.

Kurt stared with legs shaking, deeply unsure about how that thing could have happened to him. He relaxed his back against the mattress, wondering if it hadn't only been a pornographic scene his messy mind had created because of the chaos ruling it.

Then, he realize it had been real because he could still feel the other boy's warm tongue moving slow upon him and his teeth biting him along the way. He tried to focus on that practice but he didn't have time for that: the other boy was already pushing his lips against Kurt's who moaned and accepted the tongue challenge.

Their tastes melt, making Kurt's head spin around and he felt the other boy's hands brushing his hair gently while he was sucking his lower lip.

"I've never tried anything better," he heard him murmur, mouth to mouth, "we taste so good together."

He felt each and every single muscle of his body give up at those words, while his tongue was brushed by the other's, giving him a sensation of warmth and unusualness. He even caught his breath through the throat and he widened his legs to welcome the other boy's body closer to his just fine.

"Yes …" he commented, when he finally managed to push his mouth away from that kiss, "_so good_." He murmured weak, while his eyelids were starting to get heavy and everything surrounding him was more and more confused than it had been before.

He felt the other boy's breath relaxing too, while he was still kissing at his sweaty neck, before he could stop.

Then, Kurt realized he had lost his energies too, so he let Morpheus carry him through his dreamy world while a question was still wandering somewhere through his head.

Who was he?

xxx

As soon as he felt his own muscles tight in an unknown hold, Kurt groaned, trying to open his eyes.

He managed to get a fast sight of the room but it was only a second before the light coming from the window in front of him could blind his eyes, making things quite more complicated. Plus, he felt a pang through his head and sleep tried to fight his way back.

But he couldn't let it happen.

He had to try to open his eyes better, but when he finally succeeded at that – arched eyebrows still because of the light and maybe the hangover – he let out a loud scream.

It wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. Why the hell was that viper holding him, plus, into his bed? Oh, no, wait, it wasn't even his bed.

He tried to push his body away but he didn't make it. He was too heavy for his physical and mental situation and that made Kurt sigh in frustration.

"Jeez, pull off!" He screamed again, trying to push him far and hitting his muscular shoulders with his hand wide opened.

One simple moan from Sebastian Smythe's lips – he was still holding Kurt tight – was a sudden epiphany: Kurt was shocked when he realized that he remembered each and every single moment of the previous night.

Every detail, every moan, every touch. Everything was perfectly intact into his mind, even clearer that it had been at the time he was actually doing it.

And he couldn't believe it happened because he wasn't even used to drink and if he did, he drank responsibly. Also, he would have never let _Sebastian Smythe _touching him like that, and third, he would have never played such a dirty game with anyone, not even Blaine.

Oh God … _Blaine. _

Did he notice Kurt's absence? Did he see him running upstairs with Sebastian?

And, main question still … whose room was that?

That question was enough to let him look around, realizing that the room wasn't pink enough to be Rachel's, so, if he had been lucky enough, that would have been the room for guests … and he wished it was because he would have never been able to look at the Berrys in the eyes.

When Sebastian moved, brushing his face softly along Kurt's neck, Kurt realized that he needed to get out of that bed, and maybe that room too.

The sooner the better.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Here's the first chapter! It has been already posted on LiveJournal though. Updating fast so that I can put the next one both on and LJ. Thanks to anybody who decided to follow or comment the story, you're sweet 3 As always forget my eventual language mistakes xoxo**_

**C**HAPTER 1

Kurt staggered along the hallway and he had to lean on a side of the walls, then another. And he had no idea if it was because of the alcohol or the trauma he went through after he had needed to escape Sebastian Smythe's grip because he was crushing his body.

For a second, he tried to think it was just an horrible nightmare and he would have woken up soon and then realized that Rachel's after Sectionals party had never taken place, it had just been imagination or something.

He could also accept the fact that it might have been an erotic dream caused by some remote part of his subconscious that had some kind of kink for that feeling of mutual hate he shared with Sebastian. Even that version of the events was good enough; the most important thing he needed to find out was that nothing really happened.

He would have buried his ego for that.

Sadly, minutes were passing and Kurt was realizing his mind was also able to rebuild up the pieces. He could perfectly remember almost everything: voices and touches and kisses and bites. He couldn't help but wonder how that could even be possible though because during 'all that happened' (he was still having problems with thinking about the word 'sex') it looked like he couldn't even realize what was _really _happening; also, the terrible alcohol smell enlarging across the house was more than a prove that the party and the hangover at least were real.

Kurt wondered if he was really going to fake like Sebastian's naked body next to him hadn't been too much of a good proof.

But when he leant on the wood of the door of Berry's house, the one leading to the partying room, his brain had already showed him clearly what happened.

xxx

"_Seven Minutes in Heaven!" Santana screamed out in enthusiasm, raising a glass. "I wanna play Seven Minutes in Heaven!"_

_Rachel was totally drunk so she clapped her hands, sat on the floor, unable to keep from laughing with no reason at all._

"_I agree!" Noah said, putting his head on Rachel's shoulder: if the girl had been totally sober, she would have knocked him far, almost as he had been affected by an infectious illness, but then she just smiled, wet eyes, relaxing her cheek upon his head._

_Kurt giggled and he rose his glass too, even though Santana's words hadn't really reached his brain. Blaine was next to him but he fell softly to the floor, closing his eyes and trying to reach for a better status, thanks to the alcohol, and then, left all alone, Kurt moved towards the center of the circle, searching for a better seat to play the game._

_Chatting got more and more confused and the bottle was pointing for the weirdest couples to get in the closet._

_It had been fun watching Rachel as she came out of the closet wearing a red lipstick mark upon her lips, followed by Santana._

_Also, it had been fun watching Noah's chest full of marks while he was holding Quinn Fabray's hand since the girl was clearly staggering too much._

_Yet, it hadn't been fun seeing the bottle spinning until it stopped, pointing at Sebastian Smythe. Especially if it had pointed at a certain Kurt Hummel first._

_Despite their drunk complains, they had been forced, Noah holding Sebastian and Finn pushing Kurt, and they couldn't escape the door that was already closing behind their backs._

_That was how it had technically started._

_7 Minutes in Heaven._

xxx

Kurt gave a look across the room, long enough to reach out for Blaine's body, broken down and laid on the floor, between Jeff and Sugar.

He made a few steps, walking softly to avoid trampling over the rest of the guests. He needed to lain a hand to the back of the sofa – clearly off of position, oblique in the middle of the room – not to fall because his head had started spinning around again, making him weak because of the unavoidable sharp pains caused by the hang over.

He leant his hip to the sofa and stared for a few seconds.

Then, he realized he had walked in vain because of a sudden epiphany.

He had find out Blaine was alive, of course, but Sebastian was still in bed and Kurt needed to make it clearly about anything that happened and mostly about the fact that _it shouldn't have happened._

The only thought which made him sigh him in relief – as much as he could – was that, probably, Sebastian would have been as disgusted as he was about it, or maybe even more.

He ran (too much for his headache probably) and tried not to wake or step on anybody while moving across the hallway to reach that unknown room. He needed to check on a few more before he could find it and then he didn't hesitate and closed the door behind his back and stepped towards the bed.

He grabbed a pillow and hit Sebastian's still sleepy face with no kindness at all.

Sebastian jumped, sitting on the bed and looking around disoriented, before he could focus on the boy who had hit him.

"What the-"

The sentence got cut along his throat when he noticed some one too familiar staring at him from the end of the bed, arms crossed to chest, lips tight closed in an angry face and blue eyes full of rage.

He leant a hand over his own eyes, trying to give a better focus to his attention before he could notice he was completely naked, in a bed which did not belong to him.

"This is _so_ embarrassing." He commented, low voice and needed to clear it up with a cough. "Or are you here to take a look?" He asked, enjoying the scene: he had been too tempted and he needed to take advantage of the situation to use one of his cocky lines.

But Kurt thought it wasn't exactly the time for sarcastic, cocky, stupid lines or things the idiot he had right in front of himself was not able to give up on.

"How weird for you to ask," Kurt answered, holding his arms tighter across his chest thinking about it, "because, you know, I've already taken a 'look'."

For some reasons, he thought that those words were being enough to make Sebastian aware of the causes for which he was there; and probably it was because Sebastian's face was moving from scornful to horrified so fast.

Sebastian looked at the bed, then Kurt, the bed again, while his mind was going through the sudden realization of the night. Brushing, touching, moaning …

Got the point, Sebastian didn't even worry about Kurt taking a look, since they've done so much more that night, so he pushed away the blankets and pulled out of bed.

He spent a few minutes searching for his pants and when he finally found them, he put up another body show to find the boxers (and Kurt was shocked in realizing that he _did_ wear boxers so he was clearly a wizard when it came to undressing the night before).

He wore the clothes fast and, when he began to button his pants, he paid attention to Kurt again and noticed he had turned, showing him his back not to look at him while he was naked.

He couldn't help but laugh ironically at Kurt's modesty, especially after he had begged so much for his touch just the night before.

"It looks like taking a look was enough tough." He noticed, enjoying it. "Don't be so shameless, Kurt. I really don't mind if you're looking again. Last night you really liked what you were seeing, babe."

Kurt rolled his eyes, trying to avoid the spontaneous blush that was about to take over his face. It was necessary if he didn't want to please Sebastian.

"Please," he said, moving his hands up as if he wanted to cover his ears, even though he did not. "can we … avoid the subject? It never happened." He murmured, voice shaking, deeply irritated even by the minimal sound produced by Sebastian's clothes because his hurt head was clearly amplifying anything.

"Are you afraid that I might tell you sweet Blaine?" Sebastian answered, ironically. "No need to worry, gay face, simply the thought of whatever happened makes me sick."

Kurt was still turned the other way around and Sebastian sat upon the mattress to pull on his shoes fast. He needed to get out of that house, he needed a shower, he needed to pull the smell of that gay face off of his skin and, especially, off of his mouth.

"Even though it would be fun …" he commented then, "it would be interesting to see some drama, you're disgustingly sweet and boring, especially."

Kurt rolled his eyes but he felt a little more secure when he heard Sebastian's feet touching the floor.

He turned to him but he fast realized that he wasn't ready for what he was seeing.

It was quite hard for Kurt to convince himself of the fact that they hadn't sex and Sebastian being there, trying to get dressed decently was only making it harder. It wasn't useful to forget, for sure.

"I don't want you to keep the secret," Kurt specified soon, "that's not enough. I want you to forget about it because it never happened. It was only a dream caused by alcohol poisoning or something like that."

Sebastian smiled and he stepped in, buttoning his shirt. "It didn't look like a dream to me, gay face." He said, seductive, "It also looked like you were so willing to."

"I said it never happened." Kurt repeated, serious. "Why isn't this making you sick?"

"I enjoyed it, actually." Sebastian answered. "Sex is sex, a boy is … a boy, maybe, I've been lucky since you were here tonight, you're unlucky because you're so corruptible." He continued, wearing a smirk on his face.

"This is ridiculous!" Kurt complained but he needed to hold his head because of the sharp pain his own voice had caused to a particularly light and sensible brain. "You just wasted the last words you had to talk about this because, from now on, it has been just a fantasy produced by your disgusting kinky mind."

He made some weird gestures, without realizing they didn't mean anything and then, he stepped back.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian ask, lifting an eyebrow, "That's curious because it looked to me like you needed to get some satisfaction and that makes me think Blaine is not too much of a sexy man as we thought."

"Okay, stop it!" Kurt let out, brushing the sides of his head with his fingertips. "You don't know anything about Blaine and I and I'm telling you once again this never happened and I really hope you finally get it."

And he couldn't help but being surprised by the way Sebastian was giggling because he couldn't notice the irony in whatever happened. He was to tempted to reach for the pillow and throw it to Sebastian's face again but he was missing the necessary strength for that.

"Okay," Sebastian answered, after a minute of unreasonable fun, "if I tell you that it never happened, will you stop honking?"

"That would be a perfect first step." Kurt granted with a sigh.

"So why did you wake me up?" Sebastian asked curious, stepping towards Kurt to face him.

"To be sure that you weren't stupid enough to walk around and tell." He answered immediately.

"I'd never do that. I have standards, Kurt." He made him notice. "What would happen to Sebastian Smythe's reputation if they knew I've slept with a girl?"

Kurt decided that the reason was totally okay but his pride didn't want to let go on the fact that Sebastian had even joked on that, although he knew exactly what happened and especially _how_ it happened.

"You reputation would be sunk in the deep, especially considering that you liked it a lot." Kurt answered proudly, trying not to look as unsure as he felt.

Sebastian was the first person he had sex with - they _hadn't sex, they hadn't sex_ – that wasn't Blaine, so he couldn't help but doubt about his qualities, it was a natural fear.

"And why did you think this might be a detail to be delivered?" Sebastian asked back, lifting an eyebrow. "It means you liked it a lot too, doesn't it?"

"Wasn't this subject closed?" Kurt asked, already feeling panic ruling his stomach.

He didn't want that to happen: he was in a terrible mental state and Sebastian could have made him say whatever he wanted.

"Not answering." He said, in fact, still lifting the eyebrow and having definitely too much fun, according to Kurt.

Sebastian couldn't deny that he was still a little upset ay the idea, but Kurt was just a body, so it didn't really care about it, not too much.

"I didn't like it." Kurt cut fast. "I didn't like it and that's one of the reasons I want to make sure we both forget about it."

He was specifying it over and over and Sebastian was too sure about body language so he really knew Kurt was keeping something to himself.

"I don't think so." Sebastian finally said, shrugging his shoulders, "But you know, I don't have time to waste on you, so I'll pretend that I believe you, but you need to know, princess," he stepped towards Kurt to face him, "You won't be able to find someone else who can touch you and kiss you and do what I did to you last night, not even you lovely Blaine."

Said that, he turned, ready to go, but he knew Kurt Hummel, so he wouldn't have probably allowed him to walk by without an answer.

He was a Prima Donna, he wouldn't have given up on the last word.

"Too bad I have no idea about what you did to me," Kurt noticed soon in fact, "it never happened, remember?"

He _did_ answer and not even that bad. Problem was he perfectly knew it was a lie because each and every single movement, details were clear into his mind and they wouldn't have even disappeared easily.

Only thing he could do in that own very moment was wishing that avoiding to face the talking, things would have become easier and he wouldn't have needed to fight that much to force himself to the idea that it had only been a nightmare he had at Rachel's after the party because he was totally drunk and passed out.

Sebastian stopped in front of the door and opened it softly, turning to Kurt to stare at him with an intense glaze.

"Never happened." He said back, nasty look and voice. "Convince yourself, Hummel. If you need that something, you know where to find me."

"Never happened." Kurt repeated with more conviction.

"Fine, whatever our lady desires."

By the time Sebastian stepped out of that room, Kurt got convinced. At the same time, he also realized he couldn't have been _totally _convinced without doing the same because that room was still looking too familiar and his brain could not stand it.

It smelled like sex.

It smelled like _them_.

xxx

Sometimes it's not that easy to satisfy _someone else_'s demands.

_Someone else_ might wish to get things too far from what you'd desire instead; and maybe, sometimes, that's not even a bad thing at all.

Actually, there are loads of people who are qualified to make reasonable choices a lot better that you would ever do, because you've never been a reasonable person.

And yet, despite the fact that you really tried to search for a better distraction of the same kind, the thought is there still. That thought you can't help but keep inside your mind even though you tried to push it away by thinking that it would be fun anyway: it could be anybody else.

Then, suddenly, everything gets boring because the hands touching you, the _numerous _and _several_ hands touching you are not the ones you'd really want to get to touch you.

Still, that mouth you want so much is there and you cannot have it because you're forced to believe that you've never had it before neither.

But you did.

The only truth you're completely aware of is that it has been just more than anything you felt before and you can't help but wanting it back.

By that time, your mind has already given a fuck about _someone else's_ demands.

xxx

List of things making it harder: 1) Sebastian was sitting at the Lima Bean, holding his coffee tight into his fingers, mostly forgetting that he might have needed to drink it, sooner or later.

His sight was terribly annoyed – not that he had been able to find a good reason to justify that – by that usual sweet scene far away.

He wasn't jealous about the candy-sweet-lovely-adorable-blah relationship between Kurt and Blaine. Simply, he had spent the last days trying to act like nothing happened, just like her majesty had ordered.

And for some reason that didn't deal with sentimentalisms or something like that and dealt a little more with Hummel's mouth and hands – or maybe even a little lower on his body – he hadn't succeeded.

No way.

That was the main reason why his coffee was making him sick, because it was only an excuse, a pretext to keep his mouth busy because otherwise he wouldn't have kept his word.

It was a stupid and senseless promise, he knew, but Sebastian Smythe wasn't the right man to miss on the given word. He also knew how simple it would have been waiting for Kurt to go to the bathroom to walk into Blaine and tell him.

But it wouldn't have been fun that way.

Teasing Kurt was definitely funnier still because Sebastian knew that he could use their dirty little uncomfortable secret against Kurt whenever he wanted, so he loved the unavoidable advantage he could play on in case of a conversation.

When he caught the sight of Kurt standing up, after he had sweetly kissed his boyfriend, he stared at him, watching how he was making his way to the bathroom and then decided that it was about time for his favorite spare time activity. He drank his cold coffee fast and let the paper cup upon the table, before he could follow him.

xxx

Kurt gave a fast glance inside the bathroom before he could decide: he was still a little reluctant at the idea of doing that in front of other men, so he wanted to make sure that he was completely alone first.

Then, he could step in.

He wasn't as upset as he had been the days before finally: the thought of Sebastian and all that happened had sunk down to some remote and abandoned part of his brain and it looked like it was about to disappear almost completely.

He pulled the zip of his tight jeans down, unable to understand the mysterious thing that made him feel a little embarrassed even if he was completely alone.

Sebastian looked around, very carefully, to make sure that no one else might was there, and then he pushed the door of the bathroom, trying to be as silent as he could: he loved surprising and Kurt needed to be surprised.

He looked at Kurt standing there, all alone and even focused on what he was doing, and smiled, before he could flick on the door lock because no one should have bothered his teasing.

"So you do have a cock." He let out ironically because he couldn't help but commenting on that.

Kurt thanked God as if he was a believer because Sebastian hadn't come in _during _that. He pulled the zip up again and turned at him, already feeling embarrassment filling his cheek with color.

He would have wanted to answer Sebastian that there was no need for doing that because Sebastian clearly knew something about him having a cock, but he couldn't say that out loud because _it never happened_ so how could have Sebastian known about it?

"Surprisingly …" he just answered then, wondering if pretending like that it wasn't too childish and maybe a little ridiculous.

"That would change things a lot." Smythe commented smiling. "Because I would totally be shocked discovering that I had sex with a girl. Not that it would be too different from having sex with you I suppose."

Kurt rolled his every, realizing that Sebastian was about to start his favorite game, but he didn't want to let him. He had better things to do that listening to his boring lines.

"Are you even trying to give a sense to the things coming out of your mouth?" He asked rhetorically, walking towards the sink to get his hands washed. "Because I've got no time to waste on you."

Sebastian followed him as if he was Kurt's shadow, walking behind him, sarcasm filling his face.

"I would love to show you how persuasive I can be to get your attention," he whispered, with a suddenly malicious tone, "but since nothing ever happened between us …"

Kurt closed his eyes, trying to gain back the control of his body because, even though he had been trying so hard to forget, hearing that nasty voice leaded him to the thought of those hands touching him, those lips kissing him …

"Okay, that's enough!" He managed to let out. "You said it now, it never happened."

"Okay." Sebastian simply answered and Kurt wasn't sure about why it sounded so weird and unconvincing.

Maybe his mind was exaggerating because probably Sebastian didn't even give a fuck about what happened. It wasn't a big deal to him, for sure, – Kurt thought – mainly because he didn't care about whom his was having sex with.

Without even adding anything, Kurt turned and walked out of that door, managing to flick out the lock and trying to leave it all behind definitively.

xxx

He couldn't stop thinking about him, wanting it or not, his mind was flying back to Sebastian.

Why did that even happen? Kurt had never hurt anybody, he had always been quite good with the others. Why was destiny so mean?

He tried to focus on what Blaine was saying but his ears only caught a continuous 'blah blah blah' and he needed to shake his head strongly to pay attention.

"Kurt are you okay?" Blaine asked, attentive.

Kurt let out a fake smile, nodding weakly. "Yeah, of course."

But his smile wasn't clearly believable because Blaine grabbed his hand across the table (as they usually did to reassure one another) and looked at him with worry in his hazel eyes.

"Are you sure?" He asked, maybe even more upset than Kurt. "You look thoughtful. Did I do something wrong? Did some important online auction run out?"

Kurt shook his head. There was nothing to say about it because _nothing happened_ and he just wanted to forget everything. So there was no real reason to be upset, sad and thoughtful or whatever. Bad mood wasn't an option.

"No, seriously, I-" he tried not to come out with a ridiculous standard excuse, but his mind was too disturbed and he managed to get out a freaking cliché, "I'm just too tired."

"Do you want to go home, then?" Blaine asked, sweet candy smile on his lips, "Maybe if you rest a bit, you know … cuddling, watching a romantic movie …"

Kurt forced a smile again but it looked more like a grimace and luckily, this time, Blaine didn't seem to notice because Rachel and Mercedes just came out of nothing.

'Thanks GaGa for that.' Kurt murmured to himself.

He didn't want to run like a coward that way, but he didn't even feel like spending a romantic night with Blaine into his bed.

Damn, he couldn't even enjoy intimacy with his boyfriend now.

Without even asking if she was bothering, Rachel pointed at the two chair in front of them and sat. Mercedes, quite politer, rolled her eyes but in the end she decided to have a sit to, next to her.

"Guys!" Berry said, right before she could automatically start the endless talk about how simple it had been winning Sectionals – Mercedes beside her giving her weird faces before of the loss of the TroubleTones – and how much she hoped for a solo at Regionals now, since she had no chance to perform because of her disqualification.

For once, Rachel's waffles weren't unpleasant, simply because she had interrupted a talk that Kurt couldn't face, not decently at least.

He let Rachel talk, talk and talk without stopping her even once, only smiling and nodding while Blaine's hand hadn't left his own not even for second even though they had slid under the table now.

But time was passing and Kurt's will to escape from there was becoming stronger and stronger. He felt like he was about to choke or something.

"I guess I'll go." He said then into Blaine's ear when he couldn't keep it any longer. "Too Tired."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

It was too hard running from anguish when having such an attentive boyfriend, who cared about almost anything going through his mind.

"No." He answered, before he could notice that it seemed even a little unkind and that could have started all the 'what's up' thing again. "I think I'll just go to sleep."

He forced another smile – how many already? – trying to seem more natural than the times before.

"Okay then." Blaine commented, after a long moment of silence.

Kurt stood up and finished his coffee before leaning to Blaine to kiss him softly under his lower lip. His stomach hurt and Kurt had no idea what that was supposed to mean but air was missing too much into that damn Lima Bean and he needed to go out.

"See you tomorrow?" Blaine asked.

"Of course." He smiled again. "Rachel, Mercedes, so sorry I'm going away like this."

Last thing he needed was to feel uncomfortable because of their wondering looks analyzing him and almost reading through his bones to check on each and every single thing Kurt was feeling.

Blaine didn't put his eyes off of his boyfriend not even while he was walking away. He lifted an eyebrow, deeply shaken and worried by that situation: he had let Kurt go, but that didn't mean he had believen the all tired-and-exhausted thing, not completely.

xxx

Kurt reached his Navigator fast, anxious to slink into his bed to forget, hopefully waking up later with some sort of head injury that could cause him the loss of his memory, why not?

He unlocked the car door with his hands shaking.

He was so nervous that he couldn't even notice the boy sitting at ease on the hood of his car.

When his car did actually get unlocked, he sighed in relief but that feeling only lasted a few seconds before his eyes could casually focus on that figure he knew oh so well.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kurt asked, looking up at the sky ironically.

"You're so panicky lately." The voice he wanted to forget came out, "Are you hiding something?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and decided that he needed to make that clear once and for all: he had to get freed of several things like him, anxiety, that thought, that sexual tension.

"No, nothing. Actually, I have no idea what I should be hiding, meerkat." He answered, closing the door again. He leant on the back one with his hip, getting closer to Sebastian. "Nothing happened, nothing, nothing. I thought we'd agreed on that …"

"That's the point, gay face." Sebastian answered, jumping off of the hood and stepping closer. "Unluckily for you, it _did_ happen, and I think I've also reached … the deepest parts of you." He continued, smirking, enjoying the motion when Kurt rolled his eyes once again. "I can't fake like nothing happened, that's not possible."

"Why?" Kurt asked, nervous, putting a firm finger on his chest and pushing him back. The touch was already enough to make him shiver with adrenaline and shake from head to toes. "You've always reminded me of how much you hated me and whatever, too much to actually enjoy the thought of reminding me what happened."

"Maybe," Sebastian answered fast, shrugging, "but I really don't think you're trying too hard to forget either."

Kurt shook his head firmly.

He needed to bring Sebastian down.

He needed to destroy Sebastian and convince him that he was right, he needed Sebastian to understand that it wasn't that lost and the _he could_ forget.

"Why should I try too hard?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow, ironically, "I know that you think you're …_ impressive_ enough to be unforgettable, but you know what? You're wrong."

Sebastian bit the inner of his mouth.

"Is that what you think?" He asked, growling. "Because I'm sure that you're having a few problems with forgetting, instead."

"Oh, please, stop with this ego thing, it's boring." Kurt shut him with a hand, not even worried when Sebastian stepped into his space slowly. "You need to realize that you're not that great stud you think you are."

Kurt was probably too influenced by all the several times Sebastian had told him that he sucked and things like that to notice that he was getting closer and closer. He was innocently convinced that there were no bad intentions, other ways he would quit the teasing.

"I can barely remember the way you do that, the way you touch, which is weird because you always make clear that you are a sex god so maybe I should remember about that and-"

He started when Sebastian's hand slammed against the door behind him while his body was moving closer. Kurt saw anger into his eyes and realized that I shouldn't have teased him so much maybe.

He swallowed, trying to look indifferent to that situation, but those light-fired eyes were making it so hard: it looked like Sebastian was trying to burn him alive.

"Meerkat …" Kurt almost whispered. "You just invaded my space."

"Shut up." Sebastian ordered.

"Wha-"

"Shut the fuck up!" He said again, slamming with his hand on the door. "Get in."

"I don'-"

"I said get in."


	3. Chapter 2

_**A/N and one is done! So thanks to anybody who's been following my stories and began to follow me on tumblr too. That was super sweet! So, basically, this is chapter 2 – still with MK – and I finally found my own balance to make translation and Italian fics work together so I'll be updating more often my stories in English too! By the way, I remind you that this story is based on the prompt infidelity so if it's a delicate topic to you, please don't read it!**_

_**Thanks to anybody who'd eventually leave comments, they make my day!**_

_**As always, sorry if there are some mistakes, I'm Italian and I try my best!**_

_**xoxo**_

xxx

Sebastian's voice and the gaze he gave him made Kurt shiver and obey because, for the first time, he was truly afraid.

He turned to open the car door but a hand closed around his wrist. He looked up at him and saw Sebastian nodding towards the back seats, on the other side of the car.

Kurt swallowed, looking down at that hand until he lifted his gaze again to meet Sebastian's.

He couldn't stare at those eyes.

Sebastian was really scaring him.

The only thing he managed to do was walking around the car (for a few moments, he also thought about running, but he supposed it wasn't a good idea: Blaine, Rachel and Mercedes were still at the Lima Bean and he wouldn't have been surprised if Sebastian would have decided to tell everything to get his revenge and to prove that he hadn't forgotten about what happened, not really), before he could get it.

He wasn't surprised when Sebastian did the same a few seconds later, slamming the car door hard behind his back.

"Could you-"

"What's so hard to understand with a fucking 'shut up', gay face?" Sebastian asked, growling. "You can talk when I'm telling you, but since I'm planning on keeping your mouth busy, you won't probably get the chance to squawk."

Kurt opened his mouth mainly because he was realizing a little late Sebastian's intention and he wasn't absolutely planning on giving to him what he wanted. He turned haughtily and tried to push the handle down, but he was shocked when it didn't move.

"Did you really think I'd let you like that?" Sebastian asked ironically, while he was wearing an smirk which wasn't really reassuring. "You're underestimating me."

"Sebastian." He called him out by his name. "Let me go … what do you have in mind?"

"You got it." Sebastian answered, leaning over the seat to get closer and reach for Kurt. "I'm stupid, you know. I think you doubted of my qualities as a lover a little too much today … it's about time I teach you a lesson."

"You won't! You won't do anything!" Kurt complained as soon as he focused about the situation. "Let me get out immediately!" He tried to low the handle down again but nothing change.

He tried again.

It wasn't working.

"You can't run," Sebastian just considered, "and I'm quite sure you won't even wish for that soon."

"Don't be stup-"

He couldn't finish the sentence because Sebastian moved fast to reach him better and he tapped Kurt's mouth with his own, fucking his tongue hard between his lips and forcing him to give that kiss back.

Kurt moaned in pain when his head hit the glass behind him and he was a little breathless when Sebastian's hot fast tongue slipped into his mouth, cutting his breath and making him feel like air was missing.

He felt Sebastian's fingers pushing at his shirt and he tried to fight Sebastian back, but he failed again.

"Stop fighting!" Sebastian growled, "You can enjoy this too, don't force me to take you too hard, even though the idea of you feeling my cock pulsing inside your pretty ass is quite a temptation for that."

Kurt tied to push him away at that, wearing a disparaging look on his face.

"You're disgusting!" He screamed, leaning his hands against Sebastian's chest to try and pull him far from him. What he actually did, though, was grabbing Sebastian's shirt and pulling him closer instead and he had no idea why it happened.

Sebastian smiled and moved forward to search for his lips again.

"Ouch, you bit me!" He commented though, a little angrier, stepping back, brushing at his own lower lip.

Kurt couldn't help but feeling satisfied at the evident bump of Sebastian's lip, a little redder from that impetuous torture.

"So sorry …" he murmured ironically, "it must have been the over-excitement."

And it was totally sarcastic because there was no way he wanted what was truly happening, he was still trying to forget the party at Rachel's, he didn't need something else to add to that list because he was still having those sensations hardly impressed into his mind, although alcohol should have made the whole thing more shadowed.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a second, darting his tongue out to lick at his bitten lip to wet it and when he felt that burning little ache again, he decided that it wasn't the time for manners anymore.

Time for action.

He grabbed at Kurt's shirt – just like Kurt had done with his own – and pushed him closer, too close, according to Kurt.

Sebastian started into those wonderful blue eyes and smile.

"Are you biting me?" He murmured, breathing on Kurt's face, "Maybe I should spank you. The harder you bite me, the harder I'd have to slap your skin."

Kurt answered giving him another grimace: he didn't want to play those games.

He didn't want to do anything.

He wanted Sebastian to leave him alone.

He wanted a chance to pretend that nothing ever happened.

"I won't waste my perfect teeth on that dirty horrible skin again, don't bother about that." Kurt made clear before I could even think about something as weird as that, trying to free himself for that tight grip.

For a second, only a second, Sebastian's words tasted a little like premeditated, almost as if it wasn't a sort of request, but something he had the chance to image already.

Kurt decide that wasn't the case, he was surely over-thinking.

"Good to know." Sebastian let out, claiming that the time for talks was clearly over.

He kissed Kurt again roughly and he pulled his shirt, breaking the buttons of his shirt which fell all around the car.

Kurt moaned immediately and he blocked Sebastian's wrists, raising them over his head, against the back rest (he was trying hard not to think about his precious shirt because he wanted to make it clear that there was no chanced to replay Rachel's party).

"Forget that 'good to know'," he said, looking serious to try and convince him, "this stupid game is over, meerkat. "

Sebastian was surprised about that, then he realized a little later that he was actually enjoying that side of Kurt; he got free from his hold – it wasn't that hard – and he stood above him again, completely this time.

"It's up to me when the game gets over, gay face." Sebastian murmured. "And you were the one who doubted my skills as a lover. Guess I'll have to prove you how wrong you are." He groaned and grabbed his legs, spreading them open and pushing himself down between them, feeling him moan in pain.

Sebastian wasn't really gentle against his body and Kurt's attempts of freedom were failing one after another, leaving him a few possible reactions.

"You don't have to!" He answered, realizing Sebastian's word. "I don't care about what you can or can't do, I just don't want you to touch me," he tried to fight his hold, miserably failing. "I don't care about your disgusting abilities, I just want you to jump off of me!"

"Your body is telling me the opposite, Kurt." Sebastian giggled, brushing himself obscenely against Kurt's covered hard cock.

Every single move was making him harder and Sebastian's pride was bulging simultaneously: Kurt wanted him and he had to admit it; he had spent days just thinking about how Sebastian could have fucked him without the blush state of alcohol blurring his mind – no matter how hard Kurt tried to deny it, it was evident -, and Sebastian couldn't stop thinking about fucking him while being completely sober neither.

"Stop fighting me, it's gonna make it better." He noticed. "I've already made up my mind: I want you and I'll take you …"

Kurt moaned again, trying to push him away but Sebastian's body was moving so right and it was making him harder and needy and horny.

"Forget." He said back, hoping for Sebastian to suddenly remember that, "We had a deal, I thought we should have forgotten." He tried to slighter again, but he was suddenly becoming more conscious and resigned.

"Really, Kurt. What is it that you really want to forget?" Sebastian asked, blocking his hands over his head, while his free one was running between Kurt's leg to reach for his zipper. "Useless efforts. Your body longs for me, let's satisfy its wish." He pulled down the zipper.

The metallic clink sounded like a timebomb: it was a little taste of what was about to happen, what they both wanted so bad even though they were uselessly trying to repress that desire.

Kurt shook his head trying not to think about that night and when he felt Sebastian's hands on his body, he said to himself that they weren't his, they were just 'hands', and it was only his horny teenage want to cause him those confused visions.

He _did_ forget. He was so convinced that nothing had happened to that party.

Maybe, a little.

"It doesn't long for anything!" He complained, but Sebastian's hand was so close to his evident hardness so he couldn't keep deny. "I want to forget you, I just want to forget that you exist …"

Sebastian pulled his boxers down and let his hand slip under, holding his fingers around Kurt's dick, hard and thick pressed against his stomach.

"C'mon, Kurt." He urged. "Show me how you'll forget about me now."

Without adding anything, he strongly pulled his pants and briefs down, leaving him bare, his shirt only opened on his chest right where Sebastian had tugged and snatched it before.

Kurt moaned again.

He would have wanted to complain, to tell him to put his hand off of him, to fight, but something inside was starting to lack.

Something mostly known as will.

Sebastian grinned to that weak reaction and started to undo his belt, kicking his pants and boxer far and freeing his already hard dick.

He really didn't want to allow Kurt to forget, no way.

No one was allowed to forget Sebastian Smythe.

He grabbed his legs, pulling him closer and with no tenderness, nor preparation, he pushed himself inside roughly, smiling at Kurt's painful moan.

Sebastian had no right to fuck him like that and it hurt, it fucking hurt. For a few seconds, Kurt almost felt incapable of sensing pleasure when Sebastian pushed in.

He tried to escape his body because it was the last thing he needed to happen _again_, it was so damn wrong and Kurt didn't want it.

_Kurt didn't want it_, or at least, it was repeating that to himself to make it become realer.

When Sebastian noticed his movement, he grabbed his tights strongly, leaning on his shoulder and pushed out until he was linked to Kurt's body by the head of cock only; then, he pushed inside again, firm and straight and hard, making Kurt cry out, maybe in pleasure, maybe in pain.

_Gosh_, being inside Kurt was so freaking fantastic.

"Forget me." Sebastian moaned, sunk into that warm wetness, incomparable to anything he had ever tried.

Kurt would have wanted to try and step back again, but his hips weren't really obeying, thrusting instinctively against Sebastian's body to make him go deeper and deeper.

"I will." He groaned, "I will do that again …"

There was no single muscle of his body willing to make Kurt's word believable because he didn't want to forget that sensation, that pleasure, but he also didn't want to show Sebastian how weak he could make him.

"Not so sure about that, babe." Sebastian made fun of him, thrusting back and loving the sinful sound of their skins rocking together, one against another.

He went down harder, trying to look straight into Kurt's eyes, but they were closed and Hummel was shaking his head frantically.

"Look at me. Look at me, so you'll know who you need to forget at least."

But Kurt was keeping his eyes closed, only a moan given as an answer.

It wasn't _Sebastian_ who was fucking him. It didn't even matter who he was.

"No." He answered then, firmly. "I don't even need to look at you, you're not worth it."

"Open your eyes." Sebastian roared back.

Kurt kept them locked again, turning his head on the other side so he could escape the temptation of looking him, but he was making Sebastian angrier. He tightened is teeth together and still thrusting hard into him, rocking his hips back and forward, he leant over to bite his neck hungrily, strong.

Kurt was trying to convince himself that he didn't want it and his body was moving more and more against Sebastian simply driven by natural instincts.

Nothing more than inertia.

"No." He answered again, Sebastian's teeth biting violently at his skin.

"Quit the fighting, Kurt. I know you're enjoying taking it so good, I feel you _so_ tight around me, trying to hold it." Sebastian whispered upon the skin of his neck before he was arching upon his chest, biting it too and marking him hard, making his skin flash and red. "I can't wait for Blaine to see these, so he'll know what you did and then, I bet you to forget me."

Kurt felt his throat tightening. How could he be so mean and insensible to tell him such a terrible thing in that very moment?

Sebastian was telling him he would have marked him so that his boyfriend could see and abandon him; and then, Kurt would have been all alone and ran to him. It was horrible.

"It's not gonna work …" He forced himself to answer but his voice was shaking, "I won't think about you when I look in the mirror …" he moaned even though breathing was getting harder because of Sebastian's strong thrusts.

"Then maybe you should say my name over and over, so you'll know that the mouth who signed you belonged to me."

This time he bit at Kurt's nipple, holding it into the warm wet paradise of his mouth, and Kurt cried out in pain while Sebastian sucked on his skin playing with that little bud with teeth and tongue.

And Kurt couldn't help but thinking about the reason, _why_. He had thought Sebastian hated him while he was proving the opposite, that he wanted him again, more and more and more.

"I won't …" He tried, still not looking at him – _don't look at him_ – even though that lack of sight was making his senses wiser and hotter and _fuck_, he could feel a higher _moremoremore_ of everything making him crazy.

Sebastian was still biting and licking and sucking on his chest, Kurt's skin becoming redder and flasher, wet from his tongue and teeth, hips sliding rough and strong. Still, Kurt didn't want to look at him so maybe there was a little need for a change. In one simple motion Sebastian pulled out of Kurt's warm body ad sat back; he didn't give Kurt the time to realize what was happening, grabbing him by his shoulders and positioning him on his lap with his legs spread around Sebastian's tight and began to fuck him again, as hard as before.

For a few seconds Kurt's eyes flew open, but he closed them soon.

He knew it was ridiculous to pursue that idea: they were having sex, like it or not (he _did_ like it sadly), and keeping his eyelids closed didn't change anything.

Sebastian rocked his hips, pressing his nails into Kurt's skin while he was holding his waist. Kurt had given him what he wanted, he was silently confessing how much he was enjoying feeling Sebastian's cock filling up.

"You're an open book, babe." He roared, one hard thrust that made Kurt arch in pleasure.

It sounded more like a scream, but it made his eyes flew open and they were wet and shining, filled with lust because no one had ever filled him so deliciously, satisfying his want.

Their eyes were soon locked, two light magnets searching one another against the laws of science, while Sebastian's waist met Kurt's faster and faster, and Hummel rested his hands upon his shoulders to help himself to lift and sink, lift and sink.

Sebastian didn't speak, because Kurt had opened his eyes before he could tell him again and he was still looking at him. He leant over to bite his neck again while pulling a hand between Kurt's tights and slowly beginning to pump his hard needy cock.

By that time, Kurt had stop fighting to keep on the rhythm.

He raised his hands to catch back at Sebastian's shoulders – the hand on his dick had made him lose that grip – and he sank down, looking right into that lustful green eyes while riding Sebastian as pleasure was starting to blossom through his body.

He had realize that he couldn't keep denying then, not when he was moaning together with Sebastian, who was staring back, nor while he was riding him and only feeling the intense stream of desire caused the simple idea of Smythe fucking him that way. Sebastian pushed his head back, desire making Kurt's rim stretch around his cock and forcing his almost independent hand to pump faster.

This time, he wanted Kurt to come with him, not before nor later, _together_.

"I knew it." He simply murmured, smirking and closing his eyes then.

Kurt couldn't answer back. He couldn't open up is mouth because he would have only been able to moan and scream. He just pushed his nails into Sebastian's skin, the hardest he could, while he was starting to feel that burning pretty pleasing sensation growing into his body.

Sebastian roared for the scratch of Kurt's nails but he grit his teeth and kept on rocking his own hips against Kurt's giving him back the pain, leaning over to bite his neck once again, murmuring in appreciation at the salty taste of his white skin.

The harder he bit, the deeper Kurt's nails scratched his flesh.

Kurt wanted to hurt him, he was sure about that.

It was the only thing he was sure about (maybe).

He wanted to do that because he knew that Sebastian would have taken anything away from him. He would have destroyed his life, his perfect relationship with Blaine, each and every single chance to keep pretending that it had never happened.

He was so close and he was using the sensation to scratch him hard because he would have never had the courage for that normally; he stopped only when Sebastian skin began to fight that painful invasion back.

Sebastian closed his eyes again and felt close too. He didn't want to come, not yet. He shook his hand faster around Kurt's cock, in synchrony with the thrusts and when Kurt moaned again, he realized he was about to give it up so he smile on his chest. He kissed him, making his way towards Kurt's ear to breathe on his skin and bite on his earlobe to get his attention.

"Come with me, Kurt." He whispered slowly, pushing up to bury himself inside his warm body.

Kurt bit his lips ungentle and tried to think about the most horrible things in the world but it wasn't enough. He was able to keep it for three seconds or less before he was squirting against Sebastian's chest and abdomen, crying out in pleasure.

The only he thing he could be proud of was that he wasn't screaming his name out while his hips were still moving, riding the pleasure.

The first hot spurt on his skin was enough to let Sebastian give up too inside Kurt, biting his lips violently to try and keep it the more silent as he could, without stopping even for a second to look at Kurt's face, completely twisted in pleasure. He pushed in one more time and let his head rest back, chest moving hard because of that harsh breath and the hand stroking Kurt's cock was finally slowing down.

Kurt relaxed his head back too, a second later.

It was enough to make him lose control. A tear ran upon his cheek and he wasn't sure about what it meant.

It could have been pleasure, sadness, guilt, desire, having poured out all of that anger …

Kurt had no idea what it was but it burnt against his skin while chest was blowing up and down.

"I think …" Sebastian said finally, a little breathless, "I think we should talk, gay face. And by that I don't mean those ridiculous girlish and dramatic conversations like one we had the other day."

Kurt lifted his head and brushed the back of his hand against his cheek to clean the tear away before Sebastian could see it. He really didn't want to give him a good reason to make fun of him.

"Speak then. I give you fifty seconds."

"Stop acting so dogged, I'm still fucked up into you, you know?" Sebastian murmured amused. "I just want us to realize what's going on here, Kurt." He noticed. "We've found out we make an awesome duo at fucking, so what's the problem with that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt asked immediately, lifting his hips to finally release Sebastian from his hot body, but still sitting on his lap. "I have a boyfriend. And I know you didn't miss that because you've got Blaine quite impressed in your mind …"

"What if I told you Blaine isn't on my mind right now, not even a bit?" He asked, smugly. "Might be because of the fact that you seem so sexually frustrated I'm starting to think he's not making a good use of his enormous cock."

Kurt scowled.

He had tried Sebastian now.

It was quite logic that having sex with Blaine seemed … so vanilla right now.

Right?

It was … it made sense.

"Blaine is making an excellent use of anything he's got." He defended him, not really sure about it. Actually, he _was_ sure about it if he didn't mention any comparison because _that_ was making it hard. "And … I really don't give a thing about what you're thinking right now."

That was a giant lie too because he _wanted_ to know what Sebastian was thinking, about sex, about him, about everything.

"Oh my God, Kurt, you're so obnoxious." Sebastian made fun of him. "I have the impression that he didn't meet you expectations, is that right?" He asked rhetorically. "You can admit it, babe. I have a lot of secrets to share with you now; I don't think one'd make a difference."

Kurt scowled again.

"It's … different!" He answered, wondering why the hell he was still naked upon him, talking about things he shouldn't have dealt with. "It's just about two different ways of-"

"Oh, c'mon." Sebastian looked a little sick. "Quit it, Kurt. I've realized Blaine's quite useless when it comes to that and I'm so sorry for you. I suddenly understand your desperate need to get fucked hard."

And then, before he could realize, he was gently brushing and holding Kurt's waist, as if it was natural, sitting better because he knew they were about to have a long talk. Not so short at least.

Kurt followed the movement with his eyes and knew that there must have been something so wrong and senseless about the way he was sweetly touching him, but it hurt so little if compared to everything he had done on Kurt's skin.

"I didn'-I didn't need that …" he said back, "it was a stupid game and-"

"Okay, the closet was a stupid game, I agree." Sebastian answered. "What about this? Was this a game too?"

"A lame consequence of a stupid game?" Kurt asked unsure.

"After a few days? Coincidences."

"Of course!" Kurt said a little surer. "It's exactly because of that. It happened because so little has passed and we're still drunk about that feeling. Maybe if we'd have met-"

"Kurt, get a grip." He called him by his name to make sure he had Kurt's attention. "Quit the excuses."

Kurt shivered a little when he used his name and then he looked down.

"I don't know what to do …" He murmured, hating the weakness he was feeling, but he couldn't avoid it anymore.

And Sebastian closed his eyes for a second, trying to resist that tender scowl because the talk was serious and necessary.

"I'm confused too, you know." He admitted finally, not surprised when Kurt looked up to meet his gaze. "But we don't need to read too much into things." He tried to reassure him. "Trust me. It's not the first time this is happening to me."

"It's not the first time you feel confused after sex?" Kurt asked still tenderly unsure and a little lost. "I don't get it."

"It's not the first time I'm into these things. Let me explain …" He said, sighing and stroking sweetly at his hips. "I have a lot of friends with benefits, Kurt." He tried, without hesitations. "In Paris for example. No feelings involved, just sex."

Kurt lifted an eyebrow (he wasn't sure if it was about Sebastian's terrible words or his kind fingers) and scowled once again.

"I still haven't figured out yet what this has to do with me …" He noticed, a little perplexed.

He was starting to feel a little dumb about that conversation, about the way he wasn't able to understand the links between the main argument and him.

"What did we just do, Kurt?" Sebastian asked rhetorically. "Wasn't this just sex for fun? Don't try to deny it."

Kurt bit his lip: he wasn't sure he could distinguish the ways of sex, he hadn't the right experience to analyze it.

"Maybe … angry sex?" He asked anyway, since Sebastian was the one who publicly celebrated his own sexual life (and facts were proving his vanities to be true).

"Yeah, well, that too." Sebastian giggled at Kurt's flash face. "But it was also for fun, because anger means passion and passion means fun."

Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted to allow his mind to focus on the term 'passion' because it meant that he was getting used to share a passion with Sebastian too soon (he was even surprise that Sebastian himself had used that word, it would have made him feel a little flattered, if it wasn't for all that cheating thing), or the '_just_ fun' part and how sad it sounded to his ears (even if it was _exactly _what had happened because there was no way it could have meant more).

"Well, I don't think we should get too used to this … kind of fun …" He murmured, still incapable to come off of Sebastian's body, not while his touch was making him melt dangerously.

Sebastian stared at him for a long contemplative moment and decided that they were already caught into that, so …

"I've got something for you. Let's make a deal." He pulled out of his mouth finally, but he didn't give Kurt the time to answer. "We should be friends with benefits. We'd both win with that and it'd be-"

Kurt spread his eyelids, and he was sure his mouth had done the same.

"What?" He asked, blinking shocked, "You - Sebastian Smythe, Mr. You-have-the-gayest-face-in-Ohio or You're-a-living-joke - are suggesting-"

"Yup, I am." Sebastian cut him off, making Kurt shut because he knew that letting him speak meant that Kurt would have made him change his mind with his annoying high voice. "Let's make it clear: the only thing you risk to lose is an unbelievable amount of pleasure."

"So … how is that supposed to happen?" He asked, trying to look a little strict. "I mean … We meet, we have sex and-?" Kurt looked confuse, he had no idea how something like that worked.

That deal was completely out of his ways of thinking.

Sebastian sighed deep: he would have never thought Kurt could be slow to catch on something, he had always thought he was smart (annoying but smart).

"And stop. No feelings involved, I won't tell anybody and neither will you." He explained. "It'd be our dirty little secret." He murmured with a smug smile on his face.

Kurt wrinkled his lips and felt his skin getting a little warmer and probably redder.

He wasn't even thinking about denying how satisfying sex with Sebastian had been. But … was that right? It didn't sound like that and it would have _never_ sounded right probably.

"Our dirtly little secret …" He repeated in a murmur, almost trying to convince himself about it because the body pinned underneath his own was so damn tempting to give up on it so soon.

He was feel so stupid because of that material desire, it was the kind of wish he had always despised.

"Exactly, Kurt. Our dirty little secret." Sebastian whispered, so close to his lips. "You won't regret, I promise, and you'll have the chance to satisfy all of your secret kinks. I'll be there to make them become real."

Kur felt a shiver when Sebastian's breath slipped on his mouth, voice vibrating on his skin.

"All of my-?" He asked hesitating, but so, so tempted. There were a few things that had been going through his mind, but he had always felt a little ashamed about sharing those fantasies with Blaine because they were still looking absurd to his own innocent mind, so much that Kurt had no idea about how he could even think about it.

"Whatever you want, Kurt." Sebastian murmured. "No shames with me. If you're in, we'll have so much fun experimenting together …"

He felt amazing at those words (his mind didn't want to give up the suggestion that Sebastian was using his desires with that lustful tone only to convince him).

He _wanted_ to try his kinks, he wanted to try everything.

It was going to be a secret.

It was going to be a game.

The only thing it took was whispering back a low 'yes' or 'okay' or something.

Sebastian stared at him for a long moment while Kurt was still a little lost in that thought, and smiled a little. "You don't have to answer right now. You'll know where to find me in case."

Kurt was grateful, he was _so_ grateful to Sebastian for saying that.

He wasn't sure yet he could surrender to that idea because it was making him think terrible things about himself already.

"Okay," he whispered back, a little surer, "can I … can I think about this ridiculous idea?"

"Sure, it'd be crazy if you didn't."

Kurt felt dumb again because he was actually right and all of his prejudices about Sebastian had made him think that he would have done something creepy like pointing a gun to his head to force him or something.

"Uh … we should …" Kurt whispered right against Sebastian's lips. His mouth was so close and tempting and tasty.

Sebastian swallowed a little, an imperceptible movement, and thought about leaning towards him: he didn't want to let Kurt go and his lips were soft and good-smelling. Also, he had said he was going to give Kurt some time, so he didn't want to push it; Sebastian was weirdly used to keep his word.

He pulled off a little, releasing Kurt from his grip.

"Yeah, we should." He agreed.

Kurt was thankful again, this time because Sebastian hadn't taken advantage of the little space between their naked bodies. He pulled off of his lap and started grabbing at his clothes, leaning and arching to reach for them and starting to feel the embarrassment of being naked in front of him, a little too late.

Sebastian did the same a second later and he started to pull on his briefs and pants, watching Kurt while he was calmly dressing up; and he smile because Hummel was looking relaxed ad off guards which could be amusing: it might have meant that Kurt would have accepted the deal.

"How long will it take? How many days?"

Kurt turned to him, buttoning at his pants. He was probably wrong but for a second he had thought Sebastian was _anxious_ to know the answer. That was so little Smythe's style.

He deleted the thought, afraid that it might have hurt him somehow (for unknown reasons).

"Am I supposed to know already?" He asked a little uncertain and Sebastian just shrugged.

"I just wanted to know if it'll take you months or just a few days." He said back easily. "If you keep me waiting for too long, I might need to add someone on the 'friends' list in the meantime."

Kurt wrinkled his nose scowling and pointed at the car-door.

"Get out of my car." He ordered, firm and strict voice. "Now."

"Oh c'mon!" Sebastian laughed. "I was just trying to make it come faster." He admitted simply. "I was just hoping that it might have helped you answering."

Kurt rolled his eyes, totally unconvinced by his words and pointed again.

"Which are the parts of 'out of my car' and 'now' that you don't understand?" He asked, narrowing his eyelids in a threatening expression.

"I thought you'd get my verbal tricks, Kurt."

And Kurt couldn't help but feeling a little surprised about the words that followed and came out of his own mouth.

"The only thing I got about you is your dick."

Sebastian laughed out loud at that because he loved Kurt being so rude because of him, it looked _so_ interesting. He was looking forward to hear what Kurt could whisper to his ears while he was granting his dirtiest wishes.

"And it looks like you got it well." He commented, smug and amused.

"Really?" Kurt asked instinctively, realizing a little late that he had shown a little uncertainty in front of Sebastian once again. And it was exactly what Kurt tried to avoid everytime the other boy was around.

"Yup." Sebastian answered, "But you could do it better and I'd really love helping you out with that."

"Helping me with … what?" Kurt asked again, already curious about the details.

Sebastian lifted an eyebrow.

"_Whatever_ you want." He answered. "If you have any sexy stuff you're wondering, I'll give you an answer for that, every single fantasy, I'll make it real. Whatever you want, Kurt." He murmured, leaning closer to the other boy's face. "All you need to do is ask for it."

The sudden closeness made Kurt shiver. And he couldn't help but feeling like it was a little stupid because … they just had sex.

"Ask for it …" He whispered, almost hypnotized, while staring at his shiny lips, still a little red from the harsh kisses and bites.

"Ask for it …" Sebastian confirmed, looking at his face and pretending that he hadn't noticed Kurt's gaze, focused on his mouth.

He would have wanted so bad to lean towards and reach for him, to kiss him; but that was up to Kurt, he had to _ask him_, so he would have understood how serious Sebastian was.

Kurt blink nervously while his face was starting to move towards Sebastian's, attracted as a magnet.

"Fine …" He murmured, thoughtful but not distracted, "Kiss me then."

"As you wish." Sebastian whispered back and finally leant over to reach for him.

As soon as their lips touched again, Sebastian felt Kurt releasing a long shaking breath and he leant even more, making the kiss deeper and wetter and hotter. He went for Kurt's tongue, teasing it and sucking it into his mouth.

Kurt had no idea what it mean and while his tongue was reaching out for Sebastian's, he couldn't help but wondering why the hell he cared so much about making that ridiculous deal with him. Still is mouth was open under the teasing ticks of Sebastian's tongue, anxious for more, but conscious about the previous already quite satisfying sex (and the guilt that was already starting to burn up inside maybe).

It lasted only a few seconds more, then Kurt trailed back.

"Fine." He repeated again, more firmly. "Fine, I got it. Enough."

"Enough what?" Sebastian asked breathless, staring at him hard, almost _into_ him. "Jeez, Kurt, I don't understand you."

And even that fucking way Sebastian was staring at him, his breath, every single thing was so hot for Kurt who wasn't really used to feel that urge to jump upon someone's lap twice in so little time.

"Enough trying if it works-" He answered, taking a few seconds to think about it. "I got it now, I've got enough material to think about the deal and make a decision."

Sebastian nodded and gave him his space because he had already notice that Kurt was starting to give up, so there was no need to rush things up.

"Take all the time you need." He said, smirking.

Kurt smiled too, a little hesitating, and pointed at the door again, a little more kindly.

"If you don't mind …"

Sebastian nodded again and took an ironical bow. He made sure that he wasn't forgetting anything and he threw the keys back to Kurt's.

"I'll wait then." He simply replied and he jumped out of the car.

Kurt's eyes followed the sight while his mind was already torturing him with the deadly he question he would have needed to find an answer to soon.


	4. Chapter 3

**Hmm Hi everybody! It's been so long I know!**

**Since I've been translating a lot lately to bring my stories up in English too, I've worked on this again. Luckily, this is the longest chapter of the story, so the next updates are going to come out weekly!**

**I feel so sorry with anybody who was waiting for this and had to wait **_**so much**_**. Manu and I have written so many chapters but I've been lazy before May and I've started translating lately. Hope you forgive me ! **

**I'm going to update the other stories – all of them – during this week! **

**Thanks for being patient, love you!**

**Let us know is you enjoy the chapter!**

/

Texts: Sebastian, _Kurt._

**Chapter 3**

Life is mainly a long boulevard full of crossroads that force us to choice a 'no' or 'yes', because choices are actually what makes us the people we chose to be at the end of the road, when we look back to trace the conclusion of our existence, doesn't matter if it's good or not.

Choices are never easy, but if there's something that can make them harder is the consciousness of hurting somebody, especially if that somebody is someone else. Making a choice knowing that you might hurt somebody you love it's painful, especially if it's about someone you particularly care about, someone you'd _never_ want to hurt, anyway, and about a stupid vice you just can't fight even though you know it's stupid.

So, when you hang suspended, the swing swaying equally from one side to the other, probably driven by one malicious dirty hand - one you seem to know quite too well - that wants to drag you down and deep, will you find the strength to suppress the want to grab it to avoid the fall into the ocean of sin, or will you be just too weak and fall into it, swaying and swinging, unable to care about how many wounds your lustful sword will mark?

It's just a choice, _just_ a choice.

/

Sitting on a chair isn't helping Kurt feeling better about the world crashing and burning beneath his feet, the anxiety hurting him and tormenting his heart, making it guilty of a pain Kurt is causing himself instead.

A week is gone and his body is still trembling and stretched at the thought. He's confused about how much these memories are making his whole body ache because he isn't sure about them.

They're there, clearly, but their shape is blurred and confused.

The phone into his hands is the proof of the fact that he hasn't stopped thinking about it not even for a moment. If he has done it, he wouldn't have stared at the still empty box of messages from and to the new number he had memorized, stumbling into the trip up of passion.

He feels like he sucks a lot.

He has never felt this guilty into his whole life, he's disgusted by himself and he is scowling ridiculously while he's alone, into his room, the sound of silence hurting his sensible ears.

He'd have wanted to cry, but he knows it wouldn't make any sense because it doesn't matter how much he's suffering about himself, at the end of everything, he knows he won't be the one who gets hurt the most. His tears look like a joke to him.

Plus, he would be the one going crazy while trying to make a _choice_.

Clearly, having that sense of guilty clenching his stomach, the only possible answer he should give Sebastian – by sending this stupid text – is a simple reminder than the best thing to do is forgetting about whatever happened; this time without possibly ending up fucking in the back of his Navigator because that totally doesn't fix anything.

Still, he looks like he's afraid of brushing the screen with his fingers, like he doesn't trust himself about what he's going to write: Sebastian is so much of a surprise, constantly; when he thought he had forgotten everything, Sebastian he has shown him what he takes is snapping his fingers to get him back, so Kurt wouldn't be surprised if he finds out he has sent something completely different from what he wants.

He's starting to get suddenly conscious about a new unexpected list of dirty kinks.

Blaine isn't the type of person who satisfies these curiosities and, even though Kurt realizes is disgusting to even think about something like this because of _sexual_ wishes, he can't hide the fact he has dreamt a few _wicked_ dreams during these seven days, and none of them had Blaine has a protagonist.

It's undeniable: Sebastian is hot, like _a lot_, and Kurt has no idea why it's so fucking hard to resist him but he's starting to think his high school pureness is slipping away to turn into a desperate desire of experimentation, the more the better, in a sphere he doesn't even feel comfortable with, especially with such an offer.

He can only imagine all the things Sebastian would do with no complaining – seen his wicked and kinky mind – and the thought of it alone gets him so much that he doesn't even realize his index has pressed the text button to send.

Kurt is immediately cursing himself, especially because he gets quite a fast answer.

_(18:32)_

(18:32) You really don't need to use these lame tricks to get my attention, Kurt. You know you already have more than that from me.

He stares at the text, awkwardness building up again into his chest, just like it did when Kurt had tried to push him away to get a little time for himself to think properly.

He needs to prove to Sebastian the he's not being submissive psychologically right now. He can react, sure he can. It's not like he lets one sent text give Sebastian the supremacy between them.

_(18:35) I didn't mean to text you._

(18:38) Not so sure.

_(18:41) Seriously. Forget about it._

He tries to cut the conversation and blinks at the ceiling, relaxed, when he notices time is going by and he still hasn't got an answer. For a few seconds he just thinks Sebastian gave up.

A vibration makes him startle, proving him to be wrong.

(18:44) I can't. I've been waiting for this all week, but I was hoping for something 'different', actually.

Like what?

A text like 'Hey, it's me, Kurt, I've made up my mind and I plan on fucking for free with you every time we like even thought I have a boyfriend'?

The stab hitting his chest and making his body tremble is something is not used to yet.

He decides to go down with his irony, but that doesn't work either.

_(18:47) You don't say. You were expecting more than an empty text. Wow._

(18:51) You know what I was expecting for, Kurt. And well, it's more than an empty text, but I got one anyway. I'm stuck in your mind :) .

Clearly. Denying this would be stupid and it'd make Sebastian gain more space, fiercely and proudly. What he needs to do is being honest, _completely_ honest with him about what he's feeling right now. The way his body is arching and tightening in pain, making him bleed inside.

At least, the sensation is something like that. Hurtful for sure.

_(18:54) But I don't want you to be there, stuck in my mind. Feels like dying._

(19:00) You have no control on it, not anymore. Stop fighting it. Kurt, I won't judge you, it'd be stupid of me after what we've done and what I've told you about.

This is totally ridiculous because his last thought going into Kurt's mind right now is being judged about Sebastian Smythe. Why should he care? And mainly, how can Sebastian be so arrogant and egocentric to believe that's the point of it all?

_(19:04) I don't need those … thing. Someone might get hurt._

(19:08) I didn't make you love promises, so. I've just made you an offer about exploring new interesting sides of your life.

_(19:11) Yeah, as if you know what the word 'Love' stands for. It's clear you couldn't propose it to me, I'm not that stupid._

(19:14) Don't mess with things you don't know Kurt. You don't know me at all. Where are you?

_(19:15) Home, where am I supposed to be?_

He lifts his eyebrow immediately, wondering why they got to that question and what the hell does that have to do with the previous quite more serious conversation.

(19:17) I don't know, you're so unpredictable. Could be anywhere. What are you wearing?

Kurt freezes on the chair at the question, his back vibrating in a new unknown shiver that he shouldn't even be feeling at these four stupid words.

He knows it's a trap, knows Sebastian is just proving how much power he has on him.

(_19:19) Sebastian, just stop._

(19:21) Oh c'mon! I can't talk about the deal and now I can't even ask you questions?

_(19.24) No._

(19:26) No? So what do you wanna do?

_(19:27) Nothing. I don't wanna do anything. I didn't even want to text you!_

(19:29) I told you not to question my intelligence, Kurt. C'mon, what are you wearing?

_(19:31) I'm home, what could I wear? Joggers, you happy now?_

This is so wrong: he shouldn't even go along with whatever Sebastian thinks he's doing; he should just stop answering and everything would go good.

(19:35) I've always thought joggers made asses look good. I'd love to check out on yours, I'm sure it'd be … interesting.

_(19:37) Sebastian, even the door handle is interesting to you. I hope that's wasn't a lame praise._

He thinks again that irony has just saved him because c'mon, they've been going through ironic insults since November and nothing happened beside that. He's trying to make it go the way it should, the way it did before those fucking 7 minutes in Heaven.

(19:40) Praise? That's too much, babe. It's just that you have a glorious ass and I swear I want to bite it so bad right now.

_(19:41) You didn't last time though._

Kurt hates himself now.

Seriously, he'd slap himself on the forehead because he shouldn't be writing this stuff to him. He doesn't even know how they got there from an empty text. He shouldn't have _thought_ about sending him texts either because he wouldn't be in this sticky situation if he didn't. It's making him think of that night, 7 days ago.

(19:43) I didn't have the chance, too little time. But I'd do it, and I'll lick it with the wet tip of my tongue.

Kurt holds his legs together, knee against knee, trying to force down the physical reaction of his body. These words shouldn't do that to him, there's nothing hot in that, it's silly, and he knows it.

He can resist, he can fight, he can win.

'_You've lost your chance'_ he digits unsure, trembling fingers.

A few seconds pass and text he actually sends instead is:

_(19:46) What would you do to me?_

He must be stupid.

Kurt realizes he's stupid because there's no worst way to hurt himself. Spurring him that way means that Sebastian will inevitably get surer and surer; he won't give up anymore if he acts like this.

(19:50) You have no idea, Kurt.

_(19:51) That's why I'm asking._

(19:54) Are you sure you wanna know? We won't be able to go back.

_(19:57) As if we can come back now with all that happened._

(20:00) Right. Speaking about your ass, I would bite it, hard.

_(20:01) Already stated._

(20:03) I was being sure you got it.

_(20:04) Boring._

(20:06) And I'd lick it, your cock too, until I reach for your balls … Fuck, Kurt, I've almost thought I've heard them tightening on me when you came.

Kurt moans.

God, why the hell is he even moaning? It shouldn't have happened. His hand is cupped _oh_ he's suddenly hard and he's groaning, so loud because he can almost feel Sebastian's cock on him and it's such a torture. His legs are shaking nervously for his body is hanging suspended between denial and desire.

_(20:08) Okay. That's not boring._

(20:10) Would a blow job be boring? I want to suck you right now.

His hand starts to press against his hard cock. He complains to himself mentally, he doesn't want this to happen, but he can't. Sebastian is playing dirty on a purpose, exaggerating just because he wants to show him there's no way someone could resist him, especially like that, especially with no compromise.

_(20:13) No. That'd be interesting._

(20:16) Yeah, my tongue exploring you, fucking you before I take your dick in my mouth, deep throat.

Okay, he's jerking off a little.

He should face the fact that the images going through his mind, suggested by Sebastian himself, don't allow him _not_ to jerk off, anyway.

He would even let his phone fall to the ground if he wasn't so busy writing something he _doesn't_ want to write, no way.

_(20:18) Are you good Sebastian? I was drunk, I can't remember._

(20:20) I'm the best.

_(20:23) I should try to know._

No, he isn't really writing it.

He isn't pulling his pants down.

No way.

(20:26) Whenever you want. I'd fuck your mouth so good.

His joggers are down, blocked under his balls and he's starting to stroke his dick, unable to stop. It's so unusual of him because he isn't such a lover for masturbation; he has never felt such a strong need to touch himself he can't stop.

_(20:29) I just want, want so much._

(20:34) Yeah, Kurt? Tell me what you want and I'll do it. I'll do anything. But right now I just want to fuck you hard.

Kurt's fingers brush a little, it's more a massage than anything, but he's already moaning out low, which is not good, and he's still imagining what Sebastian suggests and it aches.

_(20:35) Me too, I want you to fuck me again, Sebastian._

(20:38) I've never thought I'd have heard it from you. How do you want me to fuck you, Kurt?

Kurt breathes in.

He shouldn't even be thinking about it.

But they've done worse than that: sexting is such a small trouble if compared to the rest and he doesn't care that Sebastian might use it against him because Kurt's cock is vibrating with need and he feels like his body is winning over brain and feelings all at once.

The only thing going on his mind right now is Sebastian's hands, _those fucking hands_ touching him everywhere, while he's pumping slowly at his arching cock.

_(20:42) Hard. I want you to fuck me hard._

(20:44) I'm gonna fuck you so hard, Kurt, your legs will shake, you won't be able to walk for days. If that's what you want, I'll have to promise you.

Kurt moans again, trying to ignore the sarcasm spilling out of the last few words, while his hand is now stroking at his hard dick firmly. His fingers are shaking on the touch-screen and his hips are rocking against the chair, his body searching for friction, for relief.

_(20:46) Keep it, please. Hard, the hardest you can._

(20:50) I'll keep it. You'll be on your hands and knees, and I'm gonna fuck you so hard it'll hurt but you won't be able to realize it because I'll be sunk into you, so deep you'll feel me right to your brain.

His moan are getting panting, his breath is cut. His hands hold tighter, his fist fastens, his head flips back, he looks at the ceiling, his face contracting in pleasure, and he's jerking off roughly, while he's imagining what Sebastian has just suggested him.

It makes him wish to feel him again inside his body.

He hasn't even realized he has answered the text.

(20:59) You're jerking off, Kurt, is that why you won't answer? You have no idea how much I wanna watch you right now, clean you up with my tongue, suck every drop of your cum into my mouth.

Kurt cries out, desperately.

He hates himself so much right now: he shouldn't want him but mostly he shouldn't be _desperate_ for him, while his hand is still pumping and something inside his body is starting to burn up slowly.

_(21:06) I want you, want you so much, on your knees, right here, I ca_

He gives up on writing and sends the text right as it is, because he doesn't care. The hand holding the phone slips down towards the floor as Kurt tries urgently to come.

(21:09) I want it too, Kurt. Being on my knees for you, sucking you the way you know I can do it better than anyone else. Let go, Kurt, want you to lick your fingers and tell me what they taste like. Miss your taste in my mouth.

Kurt mentally thanks Lady GaGa, Madonna and Britney Spears about his dad not being at home because his moans are now high and sound like screams. His hand is losing control, he feels stabs at his arm, but he can't stop, he _needs_ to come. He just would have done whatever Sebastian writes him, _whatever _he wants him to. He isn't able to answer, he can't write a text, not when is so close.

/

Sebastian stares at the phone in his hands: 21:16.

Kurt hasn't answered yet and that's enough to make him want to act frantically and instinctively. He pushes the green button of his phone and brings it up to his ear while it's ringing.

"C'mon baby, answer." He murmurs, challenging Kurt as if he can hear him.

He can't wait to hear his voice, he can't wait to whispers to his ear, making everything realer.

Kurt is about to give up, he knows that, he just needs to hit him again, one last hit.

/

Kurt startles, pushing his hand away from his cock instinctively when he feels the phone vibrating in the other.

He stares at the number: what's he supposed to do?

Why is Sebastian calling him?

He fucking hates the way his mind is getting so sick he _wants_ to hear Sebastian's voice while he jerks off. He's making him too much of a pervert.

So he does that.

"Hello?" He whispers, swallowing as he has just realized that he has picked up the call.

"Go on." Sebastian murmurs panting.

Kurt's low voice has shaken him, making his cock arch in his pants, with no need to touch it.

"Mmmh …" Kurt moans immediately, obeying and pumping at his dick again, surprised by how much he finds it pleasant that Sebastian is listening to his loud groans.

"You have no idea, Kurt. I want to watch you while you do that, just_ watch_, because I know you're already doing so well, babe. I'd suck you fingers just right …" He says low and fast, biting at his lower lip. "Put your index on the head, Kurt, and suck it back into your mouth, wanna hear the sounds you make when your mouth is full, it drives me crazy."

Kurt doesn't hesitate, he can't.

His hand shifts, but he lets go for a few seconds, starting to pick up a bit of the dense liquid that he's releasing in anticipation: he wants to keep on touching, he needs it, but Sebastian wants to hear, then brings his fingers to his mouth and begins to suck, moaning against the phone.

Hearing Sebastian's voice altered by perversion after seven days of complete silence is deadly. It's bad because the impact is violent enough to scare him to death, but not enough to get him to stop.

"Jesus Christ ..." Sebastian gasps, eyes closed, imagining that it's Kurt's hand wrapped around his hard dick, or Kurt's mouth maybe. "I want you, Kurt, I'm thinking of coming there and fuck you like it's the last day of my life."

Kurt moans again, his mouth filled with fingers and hips pushing forward, his body far too eager to be satisfied again, but Sebastian is enjoying the sound so he won't stop making it.

"Lick your palm, Kurt," Sebastian orders, "and keeping jacking off, close your eyes and think it's my hand touching you." He murmurs excitedly, loosing the pants he's wearing in search of a bit of relief because although he doesn't want to show it to Kurt, he begins to feel distressed as his mind takes awareness of what the other guy is doing.

Kurt obeys again, Sebastian is perfectly sure that the noise he hears is caused by his wet tongue caressing the palm collecting the transparent liquid. Then Kurt lets his hand back down and begins to pump his hard cock and it's way too simple, too easy to imagine Sebastian's hand while he's moaning now out of control.

"Can I come there, Kurt?" Sebastian growls in his ear, tempter, letting his hand slide in his briefs. "Tell me I can, I'm going crazy, I want to suck so much right now."

Kurt groans loudly, impatiently: Sebastian _can't_ say stuff like this; he's driving him crazy too. Still, he has a bit of a clear mind to remember that he's letting it happen only because it's phone sex. It's different, it's not like Sebastian's touching him, not out of his mind at least.

"No, no, Sebastian, I do not think it's a good idea ..." He repeats these words that are now becoming usual, fastening his hand along his dick, although his arm is getting weaker and weaker.

"Don't make me beg, Kurtsie." Sebastian purrs, letting his hand slip on his bulge.

He doesn't take it calmly, he has no time for it, and he's so turned on and aching that he needs to come as soon as possible.

He swallows up and squeezes the skin between his fingers, closing his eyes and imagining that they're Kurt's muscles doing it for him, surprised that he wants to do it, that he wants to picture the other boy's hands, mouth, face.

"Think about how much you would enjoy it." Sebastian still says, ignoring the slight sense of disorientation in front of such a clear violation of his usual customs. "I want to suck you while I fuck you hard with my fingers. Can I come over, please, tell me that I can come to your place." He begs him even, relieved simply by the fact that Kurt's too busy to notice the way he is pleading.

Kurt's so little accustomed to these words, to everything; Blaine is sweet, he's romantic, he's always so docile and perfectly controlled even in these situations. Sebastian is an explosion and Kurt isn't even ready to everything he says and does, he feels so unable to fight it, so weak in Sebastian's deadly grip.

He complains almost whining because he has his house free and it's harder not to give up the temptation. He can already feel Sebastian's hands, imagine what they would do, the ways they'd touch him ...

"No ... no, Sebastian, you can't and-"

"Your balls, Kurt." Sebastian murmurs, using the lowest of blows that he manages to produce in order to convince him, with a groan as his hand moves faster and faster. "In my mouth ... imagine they are, right now." He growls, while a drop of pre-come spills out of his tip, making it only more slippery. "I'll suck you down, until I get to where my fingers are fucking you and-"

He stops when he hears a loud whimper on the other side of the phone.

Kurt lets out a long one, without even worrying about the volume of his voice as he squirts his orgasm on his fingers, his body shaking against the back of the chair, his eyes shining with pleasure while he pants.

Sebastian shudders at the sound that Kurt has just produced, so he moves his hand faster and faster, determined to come the same way, making you Kurt hear what he's doing for him.

He's had phone sex so many times, he showed the best of his vocabulary and the few problems he has to pull out these nasty words are a good prove, but this time it's different. He wants to make it clear to Kurt that he wants him, perhaps more than anything else, and that he's prevailed on his good intentions.

He needs Kurt in his bed, on his table, chair, wall, in the car, in the bathroom, on every vertical, horizontal and reclining surface.

Sebastian wants him and he wants him now, the wait is killing him slowly.

Kurt's hand is gently stroking his now sensitive cock, but the touch is starting to irritate him so, a moment later, he pulls his hand away.

"I hate you so much ..." Kurt whispers, clutching the phone, while inhaling deeply in an attempt to recover his strength: this isn't how it should go; Sebastian shouldn't be so damn destructive every single time. He has to get out tonight and he can't rest from such a physical and emotional crack with the little time he has.

"That's not true ... "Sebastian whispers back in his ear. "You don't hate me, Kurt, and I don't hate you either, and I want to come over, I want you to come to me." He doesn't even care about what he's admitting, he just wants Kurt, honestly. "I want you to lick my soaked stomach, I want to kiss your tongue when it tastes just like my-"

He has to stop the sentence, because he hears Kurt cursing, a frustrating noise into his ears.

"Kurt?" He calls him, frowning, "Kurt?"

Kurt quickly begins to button his pants up, clutching the phone between his fingers.

"Sebastian, I gotta go, really." He babbles against the cell, crushing it between his shoulder and his ear to work the pants with both hands. Unfortunately for him, he only puts up disaster and pops up the button to break it, which forces him to swear again in a low voice, making him overcome his standards of maximum blasphemy per day.

"Go?" Sebastian asks irritated. "What? No, Kurt can't go like this, not now! I'm close and-" He complains.

But he finds himself talking to the empty line, which makes him swear softly in turn, because Kurt had no right to pull off the phone like this, especially not after what they had just done.

For some reason, he begins to imagine that Kurt is going to need at least another week to find the courage to call him or send him a text, and then he sighs loudly, rolling his eyes.

But he's wrong because he feels a vibration pinch the skin of his palm.

_(21:18) SorrySorrySorry. I'll call you as soon as I can._

Kurt snaps out of his chair, throwing the phone on the bed, and pulls off the pants he has just destroyed. By now he can clearly hear the Blaine's steps on the landing and he totally has to hurry: he has already called his name a couple of times from along the hallway and Kurt hasn't answered yet.

He tosses his pants somewhere without even looking, before taking a pair of random tight jeans and pull them on at the speed of light, zipping them on at the exact moment the door of the room opens.

"You're not ready yet?"

Kurt jumps in surprise, even though he knew too well about the imminent arrival of Blaine, since he had heard his footsteps on the stairs.

_It's because you have a polluted consciousness, Kurt. Dirty isn't enough to define it._ He thinks sadly, shaking his head.

He knows he has done something wrong and his brain is trying to suggest something about it, despite that he's aware that 'wrong' is definitely an understatement for the situation.

His gaze lifts to Blaine who is standing in front of him, and Kurt can't help but feel a strong pain in his chest when he notices the usual beaming smile on his face. He wonders instinctively how easy it would be to make it disappear, if Kurt only weren't a coward who can't stand facing what's happening. He hates what he's doing, he doesn't want to lie either.

He doesn't want to hurt Blaine.

"You know it takes me a while to get ready." He says, however, trying to bring up a smile on his face, knowing that the quaver in his voice is too weak to reach his boyfriend's ears.

"It takes you so much that you get these pants on again?" Blaine asks with a raised eyebrow. "After that night at the movies, you said that you'd never worn them because that guy had dared to say that the fold wasn't perfectly aligned."

Kurt tries not to show his insecurity, indeed, he even smiles at him, slapping his forehead, ironically.

"I'm getting old. You can't take advantage of my bad memory just because you're one year younger," he says, glancing down at his own pants and yes, they're exactly the ones with the bad fold, "I can't believe I forgot one of my outfits, maybe I should get changed again."

"I like how you look though." Blaine grins in response.

Kurt feels a pang in his stomach. His sweet and tender Blaine, always ready to support him in everything, even though he knows that Kurt hates it when things aren't as perfect as he wants them to. God, why is Blaine so damn perfect? It makes everything difficult, more than it is already, simply because Kurt feels like he's a terrible person right now.

"I'll be ready in a minute."

Blaine winces and Kurt instantly knows what it means: why should Blaine go away as he undresses and changes? It's logical that they don't feel embarrassed anymore at undressing in front of each other, it wouldn't make much sense.

He smiles at Blaine to let him know that he could stay, but in fact a chilling thought hits him: he shouldn't do it, not after what happened on the backseats of his Navigator. Sebastian hadn't been kind and he still has some faint reminiscence of the signs that he had left on his skin.

He can't just send him away though, Blaine would be suspicious after he's hinted that he could stay; and the last thing wants is to draw his attention this way (he feels an immediate sense of disgust in observing himself in the way in which he's preparing himself to lie, in case that could serve).

He walks towards the closet and opens the doors, starting to inspect the contents in search of something to wear.

For the first time, whatever he has to wear isn't the most important thing; there are too many thoughts that cross his mind right now to focus on the wardrobe.

He pulls out a pair of jeans, the first that happens to be there, but this time he makes sure to check out the fold before he thinks about wearing them.

He puts the pants on the wooden surface of his wardrobe and prays all the pop stars in the world so that the signs aren't too visible to Blaine that he's clearly admiring him, while Kurt unbuttons himself, he can feel his eyes on his own body.

Or maybe he isn't just staring.

Blaine walks slowly and sensually towards him, resting his arms around Kurt's waist and pressing his chest against his boyfriend's back: it's been so long since the last time they had spend their time together cuddling, and he's starting to think that maybe tonight they could stay home and take advantage of Burt and Carole's absence to get a little intimate.

"I miss you so much." He murmurs, kissing his neck. "Why don't we stay at home?"

Blaine's lips on his skin are different. Or rather, Kurt's skin is different, it's 'dirtier' and perhaps that contact with Blaine's lips makes him feel even worse. Blaine is kissing him, he's totally unaware about what had happened a few seconds before he had entered the room.

He's still living into _Kurt&Blaine_'s Paradise, what is rapidly becoming the most absolute hell for Kurt.

Maybe it hurts more because Kurt knows the flames would burn Blaine only, mortally wounding him, and he feels guilty even to mortify his own minor injury that if compared should be a caress of the Underworld.

"But ..." he tries to protest, but he has to wait a couple of seconds before he's able put up a credible excuse, "you promised me a dinner at Breadstick," he mutters, wincing when Blaine's lips touch his jaw, brushing it gently, "are you taking it back already?"

He's not ready for that, he's not going to have sex with Blaine with these thoughts still going on his mind. They can't stay home alone, he's going to go mad if they do and he's already beginning to panic at the thought.

"You know I won't miss it on to a promise," Blaine murmurs against his skin, "but it's been so long, Kurt." He notices with alarming delicacy. "It's been a lot that we don't spend time alone and you're not there and ... I really want to make love to you."

He breaks.

Every single thing he has in his body breaks into a thousand pieces causing uproar within his chest instantly hurt by sharp glass made of guilt. He has to keep himself with all his strength in his body not to burst into tears and thank God, Blaine is behind him and he can't see his eyes getting wetter, ready to explode in bitter-salty unstoppable cascades.

He feels like he's dying, every single part of him.

"We have time ..." He whispers, holding the choked voice that was coming out from his mouth instinctively, and inhales deeply, "we have so much time to ... make love ..."

Blaine smiles and Kurt feels the grin on his skin, which forces him to close his eyes tightly.

If Blaine only knew, he wouldn't smile like that, not at all. Kurt would hurt him, he would break even worse than he is tearing himself down now, and Blaine doesn't deserve it ... but God, Kurt isn't capable of controlling his thoughts, his body, his mind.

"You're right." The boy finally says, kissing his cheek. "All night. We've got all night and I want to make love to you. It's going to be so good that we will recover all the time we've lost."

Kurt feels chills at these words.

How can he make love to him all night? How can he hide how he feels now, his thoughts, anything else?

"Exactly." He answers, however, as he turns to Blaine and captures his mouth in a kiss. It's not too sweet. He has no idea what he has done, he can't control it, he's an inch from his face and begins to stroke the arm that's wrapped around him with his nails, gently, watching into Blaine's eyes. "We've got all night."

"Then don't kiss me like this." Blaine makes clear with a sweet smile still printed on his perfect lips. "You know that when you kiss me like this, you always make my head spin." Then he gently brushes Kurt's cheek with his fingertips, as if he's afraid of scratching such a delicate skin.

Kurt closes his eyes for a moment, as his stomach contracts in pain, realizing he doesn't deserve all this sweetness because the truth is that Blaine is the one who's going to come out destroyed if he finds out. Kurt doesn't deserve to be spoiled like this.

He's just a liar, a traitor ...

_But Blaine is gently caressing him _and it feels too much like Heaven to remember about Hell.

Kurt wraps his arms around him, turning around, and hugs him, holding him as much as possible.

He's so afraid of everything, he feels so guilty, he has never hated himself so much and he needs a few seconds before deciding to dissolve the embrace and look at him in the face again, because he has to wear a mask before he does and has to wear it well.

"Then we'd better go." Blaine smiles. "I wouldn't want them to give our table away. I promised you a dinner and that's what you get!" He said in a prideful tone, as if to show what a perfect boyfriend he is.

Kurt finally breaks the embrace, finds the courage and smiles, leaning his hand towards him.

When Blaine takes it in his own, he feels happy and sad at the same time. But they have a dinner on, so he'd better not think about it, not too much at least.

Thinking could take away precious seconds while Heaven is crumbling, pouring into Hell.

/

Luckily, Blaine is pretty self-centered to spend the evening talking about how he feels more at ease in GLEE after Finn and he have allied for Sectionals, and Kurt doesn't really need to hide too much to him and he only has to listen, including, as always, nodding to Blaine's every single word, not even complaining about the way he hadn't gone along with his half-brother until a few weeks before.

He's trying to pay attention, because basically it's their evening together and he has to enjoy it (though he can't really enjoy it when having complete knowledge of what he had done).

Blaine seems like he's done nothing but thinking about that dinner, he has booked a nice table, making sure that they served his favorite dishes and making them turn on candles on their table.

He seems ready to celebrate something, but Kurt doesn't remember there's some special occasion, so he's still confused by the main reason Blaine has organized such a romantic dinner.

He smiles slightly when Blaine takes his hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing it softly on the back, before staring into Kurt's eyes with his own full of love. Kurt's heart skips an essential beat in the deathly silence that dominates his chest now, while he feels so guilty about not being at all comfortable in this situation that should be perfect for his romantic mind.

Why is Blaine's touch starting to hurt?

Why doesn't the thought of making love to him make him shiver in anticipation?

What's happening to him?

Why does the back of his hand burn so much, right there where his boyfriend's lips are brushing it?

Clearly he knows at least part of the answer and he can't deny to himself that when Blaine touches him, his mind automatically reproduces different images, forcing Kurt to feel like he's the most disgusting person in the world.

Maybe he is.

Everything had gone well before they touched, but their skins pressed together don't allow him to pretend that nothing has happened.

He nods absently to anything Blaine's saying and he rolls his eyes, staring at an empty spot in the room to avoid thinking about the way in which his boyfriend is stroking his hand.

And his stomach clutches when his eyes are attracted by the last person he wants to see right now. It seems that fate has turned against him or maybe it just wants to test his loyalty, because he would recognize this hair anywhere, the shape, that color, and if he closes his eyes, he's sure he would can even smell the perfume, although it's been a week.

"Kurt?"

Kurt opens his eyes and blinks a few times, bringing his attention to the guy in front of him and smiling slightly, trying to appear as calm as possible.

"Is everything okay?"

He doesn't have to think about it, Sebastian _isn't_ there, and even if he were, Kurt doesn't have any interest in it because he's there _with Blaine_. He smiles again at his boyfriend, tenderly.

"Yes, baby," he whispers, trying again to hide his trembling voice, "everything's fine. It's been a fantastic dinner and it was also rich and ... you know it makes me a little sleepy when I overeat, it's out of my schemes." He lies, while his eyes are attracted like magnets from that clump and he can't help but wonder if Sebastian has noticed him.

On the other side of the room, however, Sebastian's green eyes have almost seen Heaven: Kurt's with Blaine, right after he's had phone sex with him, leaving him for another just when Sebastian needed his voice the most.

Is there a better way to get revenge? Making this evening regrettable, knowing how likely Kurt already feels not at ease with him is too much of a tempting prospect for Sebastian to miss it.

He decides to use his best weapon: his eyes.

He knows that his green eyes are able to penetrate minds with arrogance; especially Kurt's, making him uncomfortable, even more than he already is, and making him feel as if he is inevitably sinking in an endless abyss.

Considering what Kurt has done with him, there's much material to work on so that guilt can destroy him, indeed, perhaps it's not even necessary to work on it.

It's probably already happening anyway.

As soon as Kurt is no longer able to keep his curiosity and lets his gaze slide once again to Sebastian, sitting at the bar with an unknown random guy, his heart sinks to the idea that their sharing these looks just while Blaine is holding his hand. Everything just seems so damn wrong and makes the inevitable pain increase, like a bomb that is doomed to explode anyway.

He can't look away, he's chained, shackled and tortured soul. He should to stare at Blaine, listen, cringe at the touch of his lips on his skin ... but the only thing he can think of is Sebastian's voice filling his ears.

He closes his eyes for a moment and tries to concentrate.

He has to get Sebastian out of his head.

He needs to.

Immediately.

It's not easy, these words wound him right in the soul, and there's a shaking wave inside blooming a fire that he's not used and that he has no idea how to turn off.

He can still hear that voice that resonates inside his head, whispering lewd words that are far beyond anything Kurt has ever known and imagined. Even while Blaine strokes his hand with his thumb, while his gaze is captured again and inevitably from Sebastian's face features that suddenly seem new again, as if he hasn't really seen him before a few weeks ago.

It's such a strange feeling; he seems to look like a whole new person.

These eyes, these eyes, his hair ... why does he feel like this?

It's always the same Sebastian.

He's sharp and opportunistic (very opportunistic) and bad, but in his eyes, right now, there's much more. Kurt has learned to know him more deeply by now, his words have penetrated his heart and they're torturing him a whole lot.

He goes back to Blaine, but he realizes he's not looking at him for real, he's imagining tufts of blond hair, green eyes, strong jaw, arrogant smile ...

It's a fucking mess.

Every single thing he feels now is too sick to be true. How can he do such a thing to a person whom he loves and who loves him so much? Kurt that has criticized these ways of living, Kurt that isn't able to survive the day without feelings, and that has been simply fooled by the crazy way Sebastian has fucked him. It's something so perky and material.

Blaine is sweet.

Kurt looks into his eyes, forcing himself to see them caramel-colored rather than green, and realizes that all of their sweet sexy times are totally wonderfully, but at the same time they're _excessively_ sweet.

He has passed the initial stage of shyness towards sex, now he just wants to explore.

He returns his gaze to Sebastian and he realizes that he is staring back intensely, persistently, and feels himself tremble at the thought. These charming green eyes are warm, brilliant, and fiery, in spite of the cool color, just like when he fucked him roughly in Kurt's car. A shiver of excitement runs down his spine at the memory of these lips on his skin, the feeling of Sebastian that fills him, bites, thrusts into him ...

'God, I'm going crazy,' he thinks.

"Blaine," He speaks eventually, hoping that his boyfriend would distract him in any way from the thoughts that are beginning to explode loudly inside his mind, causing irreversible damage, "why did you bring out me on dinner?" He asks, while with the hand he has on his leg tries to vent the nervousness caused by that situation, rubbing fingertips and nails against the material of his tight jeans around the thigh.

Blaine stares at him for a long moment and tilts his head to the side. "Do I need an excuse to bring my boyfriend for dinner?" He asks, curiously. "I thought it would have been nice to change our night out a bit."

Blaine isn't stupid, he _knows_ that Kurt has something strange going on his mind, so it's been a bit of time now and he doesn't know if it's because of him or not. He has lied to him, there's a reason why he has planned on this: it's to try and mend their relationship because it's obvious that something wrong is disturbing them.

"Hmmm, are you hiding something, Blaine?" He asks jokingly, but in the exact moment these words leave his mouth, his eyes slip to meet again Sebastian because asking Blaine if he's hiding something sounds like a terrible bad joke right now, doesn't it? He's the one hiding and cheating.

Kurt is having a hard time recognizing himself, he's starting to feel sick, especially as he stares intensely at Sebastian, on the other side of the room.

Sebastian lifts his glass to his lips to hide the smirk that has arisen spontaneously and he doesn't take his eyes away from Kurt's even a second. Like it or not, Kurt's still staring at him incessantly, giving him strange looks, but at the same time eating him out with his eyes.

Sebastian can read these looks prorperly; he has learned to know them, even if he has seen them up close once. They're etched into his mind and he can't wait to see them again. The phone call, these eyefucking games, everything he's doing is making Sebastian understand Kurt's real intentions.

He's about to give up.

Kurt rolls eyes in an attempt to escape the look: the simple expression on Sebastian's face is enough to make him tremble and he's terribly frightened by the reactions he's having.

_Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. _

God, he needs to think about Blaine.

He feels the gap getting open again, the pain gets its space quickly and lightly, eyes becoming shiny. It's not going to happen now, the last thing he needs is to cry in front of Blaine for the way he's just flushed just by looking at Sebastian and thinking about Sebastian's voice, slightly altered from the phone.

"Do you want anything else?" Blaine asks, interrupting his thoughts for a moment, "I think I'll make an exception tonight, and I'll have a sweet." He says with a smile, before leaning on to whisper across the table: "Also because I won't gain weight on my hips, since we're going to lose anything on tonight."

It should turn Kurt on, but it doesn't.

The promise of making love - because that's what it is - with his boyfriend doesn't make him even a little bit excited. The words that Blaine has whispered to him aren't even slightly comparable to what Sebastian had murmured in his ear a few hours before.

"I think I'll have one too." Kurt finally says, a wry smile because of that wrong and stupid reflection, this fucking tendency to compare.

He knows it's horrible that he enjoys more the idea of Sebastian who doesn't anything but sex, rather than Blaine who wants to make love to him. Kurt Hummel should be happy because he's always been looking for feelings and not a one night stand ... or many nights stands whatever; meanwhile, he can't stop eyefucking him and it's lame and disgusting, he knows it.

Blaine orders their cakes, giving a friendly smile to the waiter, before turning his attention back to Kurt. He feels pretty damn far away in Blaine's eyes, as if something is troubling him, but despite his insistence on understanding what the problem is, Kurt does nothing but tell him that he's fine.

Kurt's gaze is stunned, however, and can't remove it from Sebastian's thin lips, from these eyes that are definitely trying to tell him something. Why the hell isn't Sebastian paying attention to his mysterious hook-up instead? He is leaving and Kurt would have been much better if Sebastian cared more about him.

The guy at Sebastian's side does nothing but talk. It's not that bad, because Sebastian's used to this kind of evening, he has conquered his best prey like this, his best fucks, but tonight he doesn't know what to do.

The mere thought of being able to tease tiny innocent Kurt, who is trying in every way to pay attention to Blaine, is exciting. He loves control, he craves for it, and it makes him feel alive.

When he sees Kurt gaze at him again, he decides to make his move. He's not used to use these little tricks, because he has never needed it in the past, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

He raises the straw coming out of his glass to his lips and sucks hard, passing his tongue along the tip, making it slow and sensual, nailing Kurt's clear and disbelieving eyes.

Kurt shivers and gasps as he observes what he's doing: he has no idea how he manages to be so erotic and not even barely vulgar at the same time. How can anybody _not_ act vulgarly while doing such a thing?

Kurt's eyes run from Sebastian's to his tongue around the straw and has to tighten his legs as soon as he feels his cock arching inside his tight pants.

Blaine frowns when he sees Kurt's face blushing and follows his gaze towards the bar, being pleasantly surprised to see Sebastian far away, having a drink with a guy.

"Are you ... blushing?" He asks, confused, moving his gaze from Kurt and then Sebastian.

"No," Kurt replies promptly, "I'm just ... annoyed that I can't get to spend an evening alone with you, without him flirting with you all the time as if I don't even exist!"

It takes Kurt a few seconds before he realizes that what he has said instinctively doesn't make any sense.

His eyes are too focused on the way Sebastian's lips are wrapped around the straw, his cheek sucked in a familiar blowjob expression. The thought is enough to turn him on again, making his face blush in a rainbow of colors as he realizes that Blaine is still staring, confused by the reaction.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you don't hate him," he pulls out, rolling his eyes, "but it's stronger than me, I can't stand him. Everything he says or does sucks to me."

_And he does too_, his mind suggest guiltily_. _

"It's not so bad when you get to know him." Blaine replies, with a smile, shaking his hand, glad that Kurt has finally showed a bit of his flaming personality, the one that has made him fall in love with the man who's sitting in front of him. He seems like he's recovering from the apparent emotional state of coma that he can't understand. "I put the record straight with him, he knows nothing's ever gonna happen between us. He just teases you just because he enjoys it."

Kurt still feels this awkward feeling of discomfort clenching into his stomach, because the fear that Blaine finds out the truth is becomig more and more intense, but he's not afraid of the eventual reaction, he's afraid to hurt him, he's afraid to kill him emotionally.

Blaine's not so stupid. And Kurt perfectly knows that Sebastian is not that bad, _he fucking knows it_.

"I just wish the two of you went along." Blaine confesses with a smile. "Indeed," he stands up suddenly, "I think I'll invite him to come over here."

Kurt's eyes widen in panic, but before he can say a word, Blaine has left the table, heading for the counter, walking with a sweet smile printed on his face.

What is he going to do?

It's the worst idea in the world.

Blaine can't do it.

What is Kurt supposed to do when Sebastian is going to be there, sitting in front of him, or worse, _next to him_?

Sebastian is dangerous.

His mind begins to be filled by a series of meaningless thoughts that shake him psychologically for the instability in which they follow and can't even look towards bar to check the situation.

It's too late.

Sebastian seems to have willingly accepted the invitation and Kurt is not at all surprised.

It's not like Sebastian Smythe could have lose such a tempting occasion to trouble his life, is it?

He sees them walking, Sebastian still holding his drink into his hands and Blaine staring at him with a smile.

Kurt _knows_ his boyfriend just wants to be friendly, he has no idea about anything, he can't imagine the consequences that it could bring.

Just as the two are sitting down at the table, the waiter arrives with their orders, placing on the table two plates and two spoons.

Fate must be angry with him because Sebastian ends sitting straight at his side, putting it in such an uncomfortable psychological position that makes him want to scream. Or maybe it's simply Sebastian that's angry with him, since he's to one who's decided to sit, probably on purpose.

He doesn't even look at Sebastian however: he keeps his eyes focused straight ahead, quite terrified by the hypothesis that they can find something in Sebastian's eyes that would put him even more uncomfortable than they already feel, and why is that? Because his boyfriend wants him to get along with another boy with whom he's had sex twice, betraying him.

Why has Earth become Hell because of Seven Minutes in Heaven?

"Cake!" Blaine trills happy, rubbing his hands in anticipation. "Oh, how rude of me." He says, looking at Smythe. "Would you like some, Bastian?"

Sebastian has to bite his tongue to keep from answering, not to tell him that _yes_, he wants something, something that he's also already taken more than once and still he wants more. Perhaps it would be too mean, too cruel even for his standards.

"Nope, I'm fine." He says, pointing to his glass. "I had a … quite satisfying dinner."

Kurt makes a face, as he watches the waiter put the cakes before his eyes, wondering if Sebastian has drunk so much that he considers it a dinner.

In fact, he has no idea what would give him more trouble: Sebastian could insinuate something with his words, a double meaning or something; it could relate to Kurt himself or the mysterious boy with whom he has been until recently. He simply wants Sebastian to entertain a normal conversation or that the evening would end soon because he can't bear this situation.

Unfortunately, however, he knows that Blaine has made up his mind to make them get along and when Blaine has something on his head, he's not going to stop until he succeeds.

They begin to eat quietly, sharing completely innocent conversations, concerning school and extracurricular activities. Despite this, however, Kurt is tense and well attentive to everything around him, not wanting to give Sebastian a reason to catch him off guard (he knows that Smythe is there lurking, waiting for the perfect moment to destroy him, that's just the way he acts).

He lets go of the fork into the empty plate, producing more noise than it should, but Blaine doesn't seem to notice as opposed to Sebastian who gives him a quick glance, while a smile is painted on his lips.

When Kurt leans over to get the water, not far from him, he freezes to the feeling of warmth on his thigh, which stops on the spot. How the hell can heat freeze?

This can't happening.

The touch he feels on his thigh can't be Sebastian's hand.

Unfortunately, the little smirk that he's suddenly caught, a glimpse of the eye too, and it all makes sense and everything is falling just as it shouldn't.

How could he ever accept his deal if Sebastian doesn't even care not to behave like this in front of Blaine? He's simply giving him all the reasons in the world not to accept.

"This is delicious." Blaine comments, hoping that the discussion would distract Sebastian from any evil plan he's thinking about.

"I bet it is." Sebastian replies, drawing Kurt's attention and looking him straight in the eye.

The hand goes down his leg, caressing it with crazy slowness, letting his fingertips pressing the thigh covered by the fabric of his jeans. Sebastian reads in his eyes a glimmer of lust, quickly overshadowed by the awareness of what is happening.

"Sure you don't want anything?" Blaine asks.

Sebastian shakes his head with a smile, cupping his fingers around the cock he'd really like to taste now, looking at Anderson like nothing is happening. He would gladly throw a fork to the ground and use the excuse to pick it up. He would be kneeling between these fucking fabulous legs, taking Kurt's cock into his mouth. He has been craving for it for more than a week.

"B-Blaine-" Kurt says instinctively, squeezing his legs and pressing them together instinctively, not being able, however, to avoid Sebastian's intrusive hand from his crotch. "Maybe we should go ..." He murmurs, deeply uncomfortable, but he's aware that Blaine, oblivious to everything, is not going to give up on the idea of seeing them getting along.

"But it's too soon!" Blaine protests, "Sebastian has just sat down with us and the night is still young." He says, frowning.

Kurt would give anything not to be here, because looking at him with despair soaked in his clear irises, while his boyfriend doesn't seem willing to acknowledge what he's trying to tell him. So Kurt realizes he needs to use a different strategy, something that would convince him to go.

"You promised that we would spend the night doing ... something else."

Immediately Sebastian's hand freezes on his thigh, while he turns to look at him with curiosity.

He can feel Sebastian's eyes analyzing every inch of his face as Kurt watches Blaine blush: he needs to get out of here and if the pretext is good enough, he doesn't even care to feel embarrassed for it.

"I think it's much more interesting." He insists, blushing to the idea that he's really talking about their sex life in front of Sebastian who, in the meantime, has his hand still there.

Blaine's face is on fire, he can't really believe that Kurt's talking about it in front of Sebastian, among all people.

"It-It's a bit … rude." Blaine tries to say finally, while the images of what he has planned for that night begin to run through his mind instantly, obeying the implicit request.

Sebastian calms the situation down, still caressing Kurt's now half hard cock, turning his attention to Blaine.

"If you have to go, it wouldn't be a problem." He comments with a smile, still squeezing at Kurt's dick. "I'm big enough to take care of myself, there will be other opportunities."

Kurt lowers his gaze for a moment, making sure that it seems a random distraction, to stare at the way Sebastian's fingers stroke fearlessly his arching erection anyway.

He lifts his gaze again to Blaine, without giving attention to Sebastian.

"I met people who were a lot ruder than this," He says vaguely, knowing that Sebastian would have caught the reference, "I don't think Sebastian will suffer our absence."

"No, I won't." Sebastian reassures him, tightening his grip on his aching dick, and Kurt's squeezing his legs in an involuntary spasm as he struggles to shake him off himself again.

Sebastian's really a wizard if he can do such a thing without anyone noticing it.

"Okay ..." Blaine murmurs eventually, raising a hand to call the waiter, but he also looks embarrassed. "I'd better call the bill then."

Kurt nods slightly and sighs deeply through his nose, shifting as Blaine turns to the man, to speak into Sebastian's ear.

"Stop it." He mutters to Sebastian, uttering these words in a simple inaudible whisper.

"Never." Sebastian answers, with a satisfied grin on his face.

Kurt knows for certain that he'll keep his word, just as he knows that Sebastian's going to burn everything, turning his life into a mountain of ashes.

But the Underworld is sucking him in and he can't stay afloat.

/

The air is colder.

The breath inflamed with lust has temporarily left his body to make room for a cold emptiness that won't allow him to relax his body, contracted in the rigid state of posthumously awareness.

What Kurt has done is indescribable.

He can't mess things up like that, it's unforgivable.

Blaine's hands aren't Sebastian's, his breaths don't have the same frequency and density, his words belong to a totally different reality. His mind has reproduced what it should never imagine, not while he's with Blaine, while Blaine is inside him.

He won't survive the way his brain is enjoying torturing him: it's killing him, but more than anything else, Kurt is killing Blaine, stabbing him in the heart and revolving the sharp blade in his flesh before his boyfriend could even realize that it's happening.

The thin sheets are heavy, they're covered with tears that he's spilling out silently, without any sighs, streaming down his face.

The way he has let Sebastian's hand do what he wanted in a situation like that is fucking humiliating: Sebastian has just proved him that he could take revenge on him, making him cry at night, touching him while being in front to Blaine, only because he has turned off the phone call while he was too close.

He has destroyed him morally, showing what a slave he is to their dirty little secret pleasure he is.

Right now, the only thing he can think of (after making love with his boyfriend with different images in his head, ashamed even to produce any sound because he feels guilty about crying either) is that Sebastian Smythe wants to destroy his life.

He's going to find out how inaccurate this realization is one day, but right now the fires of Hell are burning too high not the burn the clouds of Heaven.

7 Minutes in Heaven.

Heaven has never been so cruel before the party.

Never.

21


	5. Chapter 4

**Update, update! Well, this time it took me less than 20 days so haha I'm improving! **

**Thanks to anybody who has been following our fic. Let us know what you think about the chapter!**

/

**Chapter 4**

It's just what Kurt needs: a quiet day out with his friends, something that could take his mind busy as much as possible; he has used all of his energy in whatever might distract him during the last few days.

He has even started to embroider - yes, totally pitiful - because focusing on perfect embroidery and being careful not to prick himself has helped him not to think of the most hurtful dangerous things. He has started fully giving his attentions to his boyfriend, becoming more caring, dealing a lot more with whatever he tells him and spending more time with him as possible (despite having to admit that the more time he spends with Blaine, the guiltier he feels).

Going out with Rachel and Mercedes has become more and more frequent in short time, with every little plausible excuse: studying, giving some fashion advices, a movie or just a coffee.

And there he is, sitting at a table, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands and nonsense chatting with his friends.

That's exactly what he needs: to live his life with tranquility, no dirty deals in his mind, no hoarse whispers in his ear, no fast and talented hands moving over his body ...

"I don't understand why the more time passes, the worst this coffee gets. It's undrinkable." Rachel complains scowling unpleasantly.

"A coffee in New York would never taste this bad." Kurt replies, snapping back into the discussion as soon as his mind has even barely recalled the image of Sebastian touching him or whispering dirty stuff to him. "I think coffee is the main reason why I want to get away from here after graduation." He complains before drinking from his cup.

He knows it's all part of a cliché: they've been criticizing coffee at the Lima Bean since the begging, but they're always here anyway, as well as for breadsticks at Breadstix. It's almost a tradition to complain and no one wants to destroy this unusual habit.

"I agree with you." Rachel replies, nodding with a smile. "When we'll be living to New York together there will always be perfect coffee, it's a promise."

Kurt smiles, lifting his glass and letting it gently crash against Rachel's, while focusing on maintaining an attitude that's appropriate to the situation.

"How's it going between you and Sam?" He asks eventually to Mercedes, seriously interested.

He really cares about what's happening in his best friends' lives, especially if it's complicated such as the things going on between Mercedes and Sam.

"I'm with Shane." Mercedes answers at once, with a shrug. "I have no idea what to do, Sam is so insistent and I'm more and more confused about what I feel. I can't understand and I feel uncomfortable with both because I can't help but thinking about it. I feel terribly guilty every time Sam takes my hand. "

Kurt ignores the feeling of emptiness in his stomach: Mercedes feels guilty because she's only held one of the two boys' hand. _Wow_.

So how is he supposed to feel since Sebastian has taken up much more than his hand already?

And indeed he feels _more_ than guilty.

He feels like shit, a cheater, a completely different person from the one who used to think about what he was doing before he actually acted.

"I think you're just confused." Rachel comments, taking Mercedes's hand in hers to give her a little comfort. "You just have to figure out who your heart belongs to."

Mercedes bites her lower lip and Kurt has to stop himself from snorting frustrated. Perhaps he'd better decide to go on a different topic; this is too much of a double edged sword.

"I'm just so confused." Mercedes finally admits, agreeing with Rachel. "I have strong feelings for Shane, really, but Sam ..." she takes a deep breath. "God, Sam shakes a stormy sea within me."

Kurt rolls his eyes because he can't believe that the Universe is really so cruel to him: if Sam unleashes a storm in Mercedes, what does Sebastian unleash within him? He can't even find the right words to snap back his friend a good metaphor because he's sure that Mercedes has a real idea about what it means to really be dragged into the abyss by one person.

"These are beautiful words." Rachel murmurs in ecstasy, bringing her hands to her chin to support it. "It must be a wonderful feeling."

And Kurt would laugh because, seriously, since when has Mercedes-I'm-a-proud-single-diva begun to feel this sudden need? The problem is that he can't laugh because, if he thinks about it, it's the same for him. No matter how hard he tries to suppress the thought - he knows that he would regret what he is going through his mind right now - he has been sweet and sentimental too in the past and now, everywhere he turns, the only thing he can think of are the words 'Sebastian' and 'sex' in the same sentence.

Mercedes blushes, embarrassed. "I wasn't like this ..." She admits in a whisper. "That was before Sam and I ... you know, the summer before he left ..."

Rachel nods slowly with a tiny smile on her face. "I understand, I think it happens, doesn't it, Kurt?"

_Of course_, it's what goes through his mind, _I wasn't either before you threw that stupid after-Sectionals party_.

He puts on a fake smile and nods, but just mentioning the party in his mind has made him almost feel the full sensation of Sebastian's mouth on his skin and he just wants to disappear. He wants it to end, he doesn't care how. He's getting hurt and quickly - one way or another, he just _knows_ – he's going to hurt Blaine too.

"You're too quiet lately," Rachel snaps back, lifting a suspicious eyebrow, "now you should totally give Mercedes a serious lecture, you know?"

"A lecture?" Kurt asks, confused. "She's n-not feeling anything too wrong anyway." He says, not too convinced.

He's lying, _God_, he's lying so much. What they both feel is damn wrong, irreparable and harmful. Someone would get hurt and, in his case, it's certainly not Sebastian.

"Thank you, Kurt." Mercedes replies, smiling sweetly at him.

"Yes, it's true. She's not doing anything wrong, until she actually _does_ something." Rachel replies, crossing her arms.

"Hmm?" Mercedes asks confused, taking a sip of her horrible coffee.

"Well, as long as your fantasies about Sam are just fantasies, it's okay." She explains in a patient voice. "It will be wrong when you put them in practice and things will get hurtful, because it wouldn't be fair to Shane."

_I hate you, Rachel Berry._

That's the thought that runs through Kurt's mind at that moment, as he feels himself sinking. He can't believe this is happening, how could the world be so cruel? All that's going through his head is Blaine who's suffering and, above all, the fact that he hasn't even _had_ the chance to decide whether to put fantasies on practice or not. He was drunk the first time and then he found himself in a vortex of lust from which he couldn't pull out of anyway, no matter how hard he tried.

He swallows slowly and immediately searches for a diversion, because he knows perfectly well that Rachel won't let the 'You're weird lately' talk slip easily; and then his eyes fall on two familiar girls waiting at the counter: Santana and Brittany. They are his salvation; he knows it for sure, especially if Santana is going to start up her favorite spare time activity: teasing Rachel.

"Oh look Sannie!" Brittany says with no need for Kurt to get their attention. "There are Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel!"

"I saw them, BrittBritt." Santana murmurs without raising her look from the bartender not even for a second to make sure he serves serve them what they've ordered.

Brittany doesn't say anything, because she doesn't really need to: Santana won't say no, that's for sure. She walks over to the table with her usual sunny smile and sits opposite Kurt, between him and Rachel, greeting them with her hand.

The strategic location which Santana takes seems perfect: if Kurt relaxes his back against the chair, Rachel won't even be able to look at him for the rest of the conversation; then Santana is impeccable, unknowingly.

"What were you doing?" She immediately asks, joining in. "Were you discussing Solos for Regionals? Seeing the 3 of you divas at this table is already making me feel sick to my stomach." She spits ironically, as if their presence is really enough to make her a bitch.

"No, actually we were talking about the situation going on with Sam and Mercedes-"

"Rachel," Mercedes admonishes her, crossing her arms. "Do I need to remind you who you're talking to?" She asks rhetoric, pointing at Santana with a roll of her eyes.

"What?" Santana asks, almost offended. "Who is she talking to? Hey, I can keep secrets, and just knowing my reputation, you should know that I'm the last person in the world who can judge you." She tells her, with a shrug. "Don't pull me out of your daily novels, it would be cruel."

"Mercedes can't get Sam out of her head." Brittany says simply with a smile, as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

"How do you-"

"It's normal, we've been there." Santana speaks up, however. "When Brittany was with Artie, it was sort of a torture for me to see them together and I just wanted to kiss her and love her."

"And what did you do about it?" Mercedes asks curious, because as far as Santana is such a sour and vengeful person, she has much more experience in sentimental and relationships stuff, and her advice can be precious.

"I just did what I wanted." She simply says, shrugging her shoulders. "I wanted her, I looked for her and made love to her, simple and painless."

Rachel's eyes widen in disbelief. "Santana!" She exclaims. "What about Artie?"

Santana shrugs again and, for a moment, Kurt looks like he's considering this hypothesis: what if it's possible? What if he can really be able to live a double life like that? If Brittany and Santana did, perhaps, he can do it too.

God, why the hell is he even thinking of such a thing?

The idea shouldn't even cross his mind.

"I was sorry of course." Santana answers, but she doesn't seem like she means it. "But in these cases there are inevitably two solutions: either you think for yourself and enjoy the best things in life, or you think about the others and get devoured by guiltiness."

Kurt swears under his breath because the universe seems to be mad at him today, as if it's trying to tell him something and it's doing it in the worst way possible.

"Very nice!" Brittany screams, clapping enthusiastically. "Yesterday I was at Santana's and we played together and it was fun and I don't know if I would be willing to miss it. I don't know if others do these things, maybe it's just a game between unicorns and bicorns."

"Britt, maybe you should keep for this for yourself." Rachel says, blushing furiously.

Santana chuckles at her reaction and takes a sip of her coffee, looking as well as Mercedes is trying to keep her attention away from the topic.

"How long have you become such a prude?" Santana finally asks with a raised eyebrow. "It's a natural thing, we should share it!" Then she turns to her girlfriend, smiling. "Britt, they're not only things between unicorns and bicorns, others do it too."

Brittany nods beside her.

"You mean other people tie their playmates to the bed? I thought it was ... I don't know, some kind of prize for the fact that I was elected representative, then, maybe every representative can tie her boyfriend, girlfriend or cucumber ... "

Kurt can't help himself, coffee almost splits from his nose, but fortunately Mercedes hands him a towel, just in time.

"What the hell's the matter, Lady Hummel?" Santana asks amused. "Are things getting too dirty for your innocent ears?"

"It's not funny!" Rachel exclaims, too embarrassed. "The-these things are, oh god ..." She says, blushing even more than before.

"Oh Berry …" Santana chuckles. "Don't tell me that it's one of your secret kinks!"

Kurt has to keep coffee in again at the question. Luckily she hasn't asked him. As soon as Brittany has pulled out those words, Kurt has felt like dying because his mind had begun to serve images closely linked to the idea that Sebastian has told him to satisfy all his desires and fantasies, and what he has seen in his mind has been enough to change the temperature of the room (Sebastian tying him to a fucking bed is not something that should cross his mind).

"Don't be silly," Rachel murmurs failing to retain embarrassment, "I don't understand the reason for this stuff, can't you simply make love normally?" She asks.

"And why would that be funny?" Santana says, giggling. "And it's not about the _whys_. It's a matter of trust and trying new things." She explains. "Each of us has secret fantasies, you just need the courage to admit it and find the right person with whom you can put them into practice."

'This isn't happening.' Kurt thinks to himself, rolling his eyes. It's impossible that the discussion's taking this direction because, _jeez_, he knows that Santana's a devil, but he didn't know that she could even find out what's going on inside his mind. The more the seconds pass, the more it becomes a torture and he is beginning to play Sebastian fucking him while he's tied to a bed in his head again.

"I agree with her." Mercedes replies. "If you trust a person, you're willing to do everything."

"It's not always true." Rachel chimes uncomfortable. "I ... I wouldn't do certain things."

"I won't doubt it, Berry." Santana says snappy. "I always thought you were such a bore in bed."

Rachel opens her mouth indignantly and Kurt lets out a small laugh. He doesn't want to draw attention to himself, because he is one hundred percent sure that Santana would turn the same question to him and he wouldn't be able to misrepresent the topic. He feels as if she might read all his thoughts on his face and he's just so ashamed about it.

Clearly, Santana doesn't miss that laugh and turns sharply toward him with a grin on her face, one of her usual smirks that never seem to promise good things.

"And what about you, Lady Hummel?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at him, "What would you be laughing at? You don't seem the type of guy who can afford talking about sexual fantasies. The thing that turns you on the most in the world might be a glittered skirt, if you know what I mean."

"First, I think it's none of your business." Kurt begins. "Secondly, you can't know what I like or don't like and no, I won't share this information with you."

Santana lifts an eyebrow curiously, before smiling mockingly. "Oh ... then in your little head full of fashion, fabrics and bad musicals, there is also a wide list of unfulfilled sexual desires." She sneers. "But I have the impression that Blaine doesn't share your opinion, you look very unhappy."

"Santana!" Rachel yells. "None of your business, and even if it were, it's private matters, you don't get to talk about things like this in the Lima Bean."

Kurt swallows, rolling his eyes again, maybe too much not to be noticed. Blaine doesn't satisfy him? He isn't sure, he can't really tell. He's trying to convince himself of the fact that they're simply two different things: Blaine is sweet, he's romantic, and Sebastian is the opposite. He still has to choose however because he can't live in the middle, he doesn't want to be this kind of person.

"I'm not unhappy-" He tries to complain.

"I recognize dissatisfied people when I seem them. They make me sad." Santana cuts immediately. "It looks like they always want to express their frustration in other things. For example, gay Berry is so sexually frustrated that she forces us to hear her sing every time she has the chance to do it."

"I ... I am fully satisfied with my sex life!"

"Of course, just like Kurt likes pussy." Santana mocks her. "So, Kurt, are you saying that Blaine is a small panda puppy in bed?"

"I'm not saying anything!" Kurt protests immediately, already feeling his face filling up with red patches. "I'm not saying anything about this, and you're putting words in my mouth!" He complains, apparently too nervous to sound believable at Santana's ears.

"Oh I don't need you to say anything." She giggles. "I can read it in your face that you need a big hard cock to -"

"Santana!" This time Kurt and Rachel pronounce her name in chorus.

"Oh please. I was only saying aloud what Kurt cares to hide." She answers, crossing her legs and turning completely towards him, ready for some sort of therapy."You can tell anything to Auntie Snix, you know. I won't judge you, in fact, I might recommend to you and your little twink new ways to make your nights more interesting!"

Kurt squeezes his lips and glares at her, because the conversation is going too far, and he wonders if people can really read so much in his eyes.

"All right, this conversation has gone too far." He says finally, putting his coffee on the table and standing up. "I have places to go, people to see, Blaines to meet."

"Is the gnome going to fuck you properly this time or he's simply going to show you how it can be nice to stay under his mushroom?" Santana laughs when she sees Kurt rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"You're mean, Santana." Rachel comments flat.

"Shut up." Santana warns her. "Or I could even begin to list your boyfriend's poor skills; I remind you that I have slept with him. My goodness, the worst two minutes of my life, minutes that I'll never get back, wasted, gone."

Kurt scowls and greets Rachel and Mercedes, before starting to walk away, since he has a premonition that if his eyes again meet Santana's ones again, she's going to read a thousand things more, details included.

He just runs from the room, aware of the fact that, like every day in the last two weeks, he's going to have to fight to stave off certain thoughts and not to feel his chest tear apart from the suffering caused by the awareness of not being the good person he had always believed he was.

/

The air in the room is warm, the sound of light groans alters the silence and the darkness in which they are confined, while the breaths mingle in one another. Kurt is lying on his left side, his fingers gripping the blankets, while Blaine's behind him, pushing inside him and kissing his neck.

Softly.

Reverentially.

Slowly.

Kurt closes his eyes and tries to imagine Blaine pounding hard into him, slamming the bed against the wall, growling and panting loud in his ear, telling him things that ... that make him so hard.

It works for a while, makes him feel different, allows him to moan more loudly - because, after all, Blaine's huge, and it's even better if associated with these visions that he is trying to make the more similar to reality as he can - and writhe around him and on the mattress.

However, it doesn't last enough.

Kurt soon begins to feel something in his stomach, something twitches and he knows that is beginning to be caused by the docile way - _pleasant, pleasant, pleasant_ - in which Blaine is doing his.

"I love making love to you." Blaine whispers in his ear, kissing him gently behind his ear, still thrusting his hips forward.

Kurt sighs pleasantly and grabs the hand that's resting on his side, dragging it down his own aching cock, pumping it with both of their hands, hoping that Blaine would understand the suggestion.

"Faster, Blaine." He begs him, out of breath.

He needs it to be harder. He needs ... to get fucked. God, he isn't even ashamed to think that anymore, not after what his body, his mind, his mouth and his hands have done in his Navigator or at Rachel's.

He wants Blaine to fuck him roughly, making him feel how hard he could make him come for him.

"Please." He says desperately. "Just … harder, Blaine."

Kurt moans when, for a few seconds, Blaine seems to obey that command, pushing into him, faster and firmer. However, his subsequent frustration is dictated by the fact that he realizes that his movements are not enough, not anymore. He wants Blaine to touch him with more strength, he wants him to whisper something dirty, groaning inside of his ear, he wants more, wants what Sebastian has given him and he wants it from Blaine (he swallows, disgusted with himself, realizing that he is thinking that while Blaine is still inside him).

"Blaine ..." He gasps, trying to say his name out loud so that he can rip off his mind the image of Sebastian.

"Hmm." Blaine mutters on his neck.

He can do the same things with his boyfriend, there's no need to search for them somewhere else, Blaine can do it, and he knows it.

"I-I want to try something new." He murmurs, feeling Blaine's hand stop suddenly on his dick.

He gives him a firm thrust, another, then leans over him, kissing his neck and gently caressing his hips with his hand before his hand is moving along his needy cock again.

"What do you wanna try, baby?" He asks, before moving to kiss the frame of his ear.

Kurt freezes for a moment undecided, because the fear that Blaine would take him for a crazy maniac or something explodes into him. Then he thinks of Mercedes's words, on confidence and the beauty to try new things with the person you love. Blaine loves him, he repeats it over and over and he shows him so many times, so why would he be afraid? He basically just wants to deepen their sexual relationship. Make it more interesting, more passionate, less ... boring.

"I-" He gasps strongly. "I want you to tie me up."

Blaine kisses him again, on the neck, but as soon as he realizes his words, the kiss turns into a breath on his moist skin and he blocks his hips while Kurt blinks confused. A bit of concern takes over him because he has no idea how Kurt would have thought such a thing now, and most importantly, he can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with the strange behavior of his boyfriend in recent weeks.

"You want me to-?" He asks, doubtfully, biting his lip.

"God, yes." Kurt gasps. "I ... I want to try something new." He confesses again.

Blaine stops immediately his movements, while his forehead is wrinkled imperceptibly and the thought to fulfill the Kurt's desire crosses his mind for a single second. It's strange, how could he ask such a thing?

"I don't ..."

"C'mon, Blaine ..." Kurt whispers, trying to convince him with a hoarse voice hoping that Blaine can't resist it. He needs it; he needs something more and has to take advantage of the fact that he is able to finally pull out the argument with his boyfriend, before finally losing the opportunity to make him understand. "That's you and I, I love you, it'll be fun ..."

Blaine finds himself to be even more upset: he has never thought of such an eventuality and isn't sure of being ready. Maybe, with a little more time and the chance to think about it, he probably would have been willing to try, but not so suddenly.

"I don't think we should." He says finally, starting to move back inside him. "This is funny too, I'm inside you and I love you."

Kurt groans and he's frustrated and pleased at the same time with the way Blaine is moving inside his body, but he manages to arch his back enough to reach his ear and talk inside it, breathing warm and pleasantly.

"Yes, I like it, a lot, but I'd like it better ..." he whispers, without changing his tone of voice, "and you'd like it better too, I assure you."

For a moment he bites his tongue because he knows that Blaine could ask Kurt how he knows it, but he hopes that sex is a good enough distraction not to let him catch that detail.

These words, however, are beginning to make Blaine feel weird: since when has Kurt started to be so uninhibited, especially in bed? Isn't he the blushing boy who freaks out about porn? Or the same boy that was trembling into his arms the first time they made love to each other?

"I like it this way, Kurt ..." Blaine whispers in his ear pushing with a little insistently.

He doesn't want to tie him, how can he even think of something like that? But that doesn't mean he can't try to give him what he wants. He wants it harder? Then Blaine would fuck him harder – well, not too much because he always wants to love him gently.

"We can try ..." Kurt says, however, insistent, breathing cut off by Blaine's thrusts. "You can't know until you try it, you might like it, Blaine ... I'm sure you would ..." he mutters, as he swallows, wondering if he isn't pressing too much on it.

In fact, Blaine seems to realize all too well his insistence and he raises an eyebrow, stopping abruptly.

"Why aren't you taking no for an answer, Kurt?" He asks, his voice a bit too loud now.

"I just want to try ..." Kurt tries to fix it, turning slightly toward him, "we can't know how some new sides of sex are if we don't try, I just want to explore ..." He realizes that even these words, in fact, can make it clear to Blaine that something has changed in him because he would never have talked about sex so calmly before, without blushing.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Blaine answers softly. "I don't feel comfortable with this kind of thing."

Kurt bites his lower lip, trying to avoid a bad answer and then nods slowly, gently stroking his cheek.

"All right, I'm sorry for insisting so much." He says in a weak voice, while his heart clenches.

He's more aware of Santana's words now, she was right: Blaine is a panda puppy in bed and unluckily, Kurt has tasted the passion of rough sex and now he can't help it.

"Don't worry." Blaine smiles, kissing him tenderly. "Now, let me love."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Kurt mutters weakly as a shiver runs through his spine, "Make love to me ..." he whispers, now surrendering to the idea of letting go completely to Blaine; and, sadly, he decides that he has to force his mind to think about something and someone he shouldn't be thinking about while making love to his boyfriend.

/

Sebastian sits down heavily on the bed, his hair still damp and a towel tied at his waist, proof that he has just emerged from a long shower. He has met a boy this afternoon, they've have talked and then one thing has led to another, they've ended up in bed together. Not totally the right word though, perhaps Sebastian should say that he's fucked him in the bathroom of a mall.

It has been quite disappointing if he has to be honest, or rather, he would have been able to enjoy it if his brain would have stopped for a second imagining another person. The sounds that have come from the boy's mouth pressed against the door weren't his, the muscles clutching his erection weren't his, and even the name Sebastian uttered in a low and hoarse tone wasn't his ...

Sebastian is angry, _crazy_ angry, because in addition to not even be able to enjoy a healthy and fulfilling fuck with a complete stranger, he can't even manage to get the object of his current desires: Kurt.

Since it had happened, since there had been that little phone sex incident, Kurt has kept a certain distance. It's stupid, Sebastian knows it: there's no way Kurt's going to run from his desires just hiding like this and so cowardly, not wanting to deal with that situation; and the thing that makes him nervous the most right now is that he needs it, needs to fuck him as much as he can to get him out of his head because, otherwise, he's going to search for him in any other guy and it isn't exactly what he wants, what he needs to enjoy his life.

He can't go on like this, Kurt _has_ to accept his deal, so every time he wants him - between one hook-up and another – he's going to have him, just the way it should be.

He can't understand his absurd obsession, seriously: he can have anyone he wants, there are guys who might fall at his feet with a simple snap of his fingers, but he obviously wants what he can't have.

It's just a fucking mess.

"Damn you, gay face." He mutters to the ceiling putting a hand to his face and the other on his chest, caressing it with his fingertips.

They had the most erotic phone sex that he's ever had, it was so hot, made him so hard like no one had ever done, but his hands aren't enough anymore. He needs to fuck him, he wants Kurt's mouth on his cock, his fingers brushing him, his muscles tightening around him.

Maybe he could call him, see where he is, ask him to meet him, then talk, finally decide what they should do or something. He needs a real answer, so at least he is going to get him out of his mind and he can go on. The situation makes him crazy, doesn't know what to think, everything's always on the cutting edge.

He leans over to the bedside table to grab his phone and a sign of fate is what makes it throb between his fingers maybe, making Sebastian startle. _It can't be_, he thinks, lifting an eyebrow. They can't be so mentally linked, seriously, they can't ...

He opens the small sign that signals a new text and reads it.

(6:31 pm): Lima Bean, 7:45.

He stares at the screen for a moment and takes a deep breath - it isn't in the Smythe style actually, but it's so spontaneous that it isn't able to avoid it in time - and then smiles spontaneously: Kurt might have asked him just to definitively nip things off, but something says to Sebastian that the text is actually a desperate plea and that Kurt is having a hard time not thinking about him, just like Sebastian does.

Sebastian smiles, because _damn_, this text is a godsend right now and he is going to take advantage of it. He can't miss the chance, especially since he seems stuck with his body so bad. He glances at the clock on the table and checks the time again - even if he has just seen it on the phone - before jumping to his feet.

He has to get dressed in a hurry, there's no time to lose. He has no intention to make him wait. He opens the closet and forcefully takes a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and boxers, before closing it and beginning to get dressed. He fixes his hair in front of the mirror and grabs the car keys, the wallet and his phone.

Kurt's waiting for him.

Sebastian wants him.

He craves him.

Sebastian won't disappoint him and Kurt knows it, he knows it way to well.


End file.
